tissue paper

When I was younger — primary schoolish — I used to try to stimulate fevers on exam-eves: cold showers with clothes on and then sitting infront of the fan. I learnt in the army there's a much simpler method: ingesting toothpaste, though the timing and the amount seems to be a refined art that eludes me.

It used to be a fever used to be a fever. Today you get a fever and it could be any one of these things — SARS, bird flu, dengue, HFMD, shingles etc. It's so weird.

And I've been dreadfully quite sick the past few days; I was perfectly fine on Monday, and I woke up on Tuesday with a sorethroat, which progressively evolved into fever, weakness and body aches. I was gamely dolled up for the night too, for a sumptious meal at the Meritus Mandarain to mark Social Worker's Day [well that's what the SASW is only good for it seems] but alas, the illness took it's toil as the day wore on and I was forced to miss the dinner. On hindsight, it was probably a good thing. There is no telling what I would have done to that useless president. That night I had difficulty sleeping. My body ached and the night was spent not tossing and turning cuz i didn't have the energy for that, but in slight shifts of the body which brought much valued respite, if only for seconds. I discovered my mum's bed took more kindly to mine; the hardness must be the factor.

Day 2 was much better but I was still feeling weak so I stayed home. The fever resided, but the cough, sore throat and headache started stealing the limelight.

Day 3 today was the worst. I thought I felt better in the morning, but the lull was probably just an uneasy truce as fever, cough, headache, sorethroat and weakness discussed how to work together. In the afternoon, they did; coughing makes the headache worse, the fever came back and it made me weak so I can't control my coughs. touching my crown sends pain down my head and spine, and they brought along blisters.

Dengue would have killed me, plus my lymph nodes are still not swollen so that rules dengue out. HFMD is something only the young children get; i'm pretty sure the unsanitary years in PAP nursery education would have immuned me against it. It could be shingles. Or maybe some new-fangled bad-assed disease that spreads via the internet.

Interestingly, the symptons for the above conditions all involve loss of appetite; while I have lost my sense of smell and taste, I totally feel hungry all the time. In fact, as I type this, I am craving for the nasi lemak downstairs or the mee pok at North Plaze.

In whatever the case, whatever happens, it's been a good life and I won't miss much.

cheers

Seoul: Food

Interrupt the usual dose of flaming with something nice: more belated pics of Seoul, this time of all the yummy yummy food we had there.

Our very first meal in Seoul.

Assorted grilled stuff. Got egg, got pork, got chicken, got beans. Very nice.

The food in Seoul is really nice; in fact, it is the second fave thing I look forward to everyday, after bed time in our nice cosy hotel. Sadly though, it is quite challenging to find food, or at least, local food.

On the first morning we woke up and started exploring the hotel vicinity. Just outside the hotel, we bypassed a whole street of food stores without eating anything cuz we weren't hungry yet. Big mistake. We got hungry awhile later and could not find a single food store after walking a few blocks. Thanks to some form of convoluted central planning, it seems the streets in Seoul are arranged thematically. We passed by whole streets selling handicrafts, jackets, plants but no luck with food. Eventually we reached the subway station and discovered we had walked 3 subway stops from our hotel.

We found a food store eventually and we encountered the next problem: language. We target stores that have english wordings on the outside [and thus an english menu], but these are few, especially for local local food. This store that we found had english words [yay!] but it seems they were only for show [boo!]. The shop auntie didn't understand a single bit of english. She did understand some Chinese though, so we managed to order some food in the end.


Yummy pork knuckle soup. The pork was really tender and juicy and it literally melts in your mouth. The soup base was flavourful and thick like gravy. This was easily the best dish I had for the whole journey. KM wasn't too impressed though; I think it's because he's a very conservative eater.


KM's cold noodle. He wasn't so lucky. Apparently auntie's chinese was even worse than mine; she understood noodle in chinese, but she ended up serving cold noodles. It's really quite nice but I think being up so early in the morning, walking an hour plus in the spiteful cold kinda makes appreciating cold noodles abit hard.

-

Language would continue to haunt us in our neverending quest for local food. There was this time we went into this local store out of desperation. We resorted to using Lonely Planet: pointing at the korean words in this food glossary section. It worked quite well: I got a nice stewed beef rice while KM finally got the hot noodles he craved for.

The irony is where English failed us, we can count of Chinese. Apparently alot of Korean food stores employ Chinese help, abit like how we employ Fillipinos, so on a couple of occasions, we could order through them.

-

We did capitulate once or twice. We had Burger King once. And Vietnamese food.


-

Another morning we had breakfast at this atas cafe. After we ordered the food at the counter, they gave us this coaster looking thing to bring back to the table.

KM hypothesized that it was just an elaborate token we use to collect our food from the counter when it is done. I felt that it would fly to the counter when our food was ready. Reality was a compromise: it started playing a monophonic tune and flashing lights.


KM had this weird alien-y green tea concoction. He lived to say it tasted weird.

-

I can't talk about Seoul food without talking about the donuts. The Seoul people love their donuts! Just beside our hotel was this three storey donut cafe: Doughnut Plant.

The donuts here are so-so lar. I think they appeal to a health-conscious crowd, using whole wheat bread for the donut so generally I think the place sucks.

Just a block away is a 3-storey Krispy Kreme and opposite that is Dunkin Donuts.

Basically hor, I think Dunkin Donuts and the Doughnut Plant live on the leftover crowd from Krispy Kreme. At any one time from 10 am to 10 pm, the queue at Krispy Kreme is super duper long; the only reason I am able to get my daily KK fix is because I live next to it. For some reason, after a certain time, they start giving out donuts. I haven't figured out the exact formula yet [it's not a simple buy one get one free concept], but on average I get at least one extra donut, and there was once I ended up buying 2 donuts and leaving the place with 5. Coolness.

-

Another bit of funny-ness. We were at this ginseng chicken restaurant. Seriously, you know you are allergic to alcohol, people put one small cup of clear yellow-ish liquid that is cold, you gulp it down in one second before anyone can react: you are asking for a very bad allergy reaction.

-

Last meal:

From Seoul: Food

Option T.

more general flaming

Damn, flaming sure is addictive. This time, on this article DPM Jayakumar urges S'poreans to keep perspective on Mas Selamat's escape that appeared on CNA.

Here we go:

'...Deputy Prime Minister S Jayakumar called on them [them being the sg public] not to overlook the other good work done by the agencies.'

Yeah. Other good work. Like the Huang Na killer escaping. Or the fine responses our Sg police never fail to give our fave opposition politician.

'After the attack, the IRA claimed responsibility for the attacks and issued a warning saying they only had to be lucky once whereas security agencies had to be lucky all of the time.

Recalling that incident, Professor Jayakumar who is also Co-ordinating Minister for National Security said that is something security agencies have to always bear in mind.'

It must've been Mas Selamat's lucky day. Very lucky day.

'While Professor Jayakumar had no conclusions yet from the inquiries taking place, he commended the thousands of officers involved in the efforts to locate the fugitive.'

Like noone commends me when I home visit my clients in their dank and dark quarters, talk to them, befriend them and offer them slight slight solace. Oh right. Cuz that's my job.

'He added that he was heartened by Singaporeans' efforts in coming together for the search.'

This weekend I'm organizing a Search Party for Mas Selamat. $25/person. First drink free. Email for details.

'Laurie Garrett, Senior Fellow for Global Health, Council on Foreign Relations, said: "There is no government on earth that will have enough money, enough personnel, enough organisational capacity to take care of everybody. It will literally come down to "Do you know your neighbours? Do you know who's needy? Are you there to help them? Do you know how to take care of your family?” And then when the dust is settled, we will see what's left of government."'

Noone is expecting the government to take care of everybody [i personally know my clients aren't at least]. We just expect them to take care of that one person in their prison.

Maybe the ISD should consider outsourcing. I hear the KKK is looking for employment. At least they don't let their targets go.

general flaming for the week

I don't generally comment on political/media stuff [yeah, right] because people generally only comment when things get really stupid [looking at you PAP] and I don't feel like posting 10 times a day. Besides my lecturer always says 'flame the argument, not the person' but you know how it is with me and fire; always out of hand.

Apparently, NUS magazine Ridge covers some silly political forum in their online portal about 2 months ago. At this point, we should all have already moved on and focus on bigger issues like blaming ourselves for Mas Selamat's escape and if there's leftover time, maybe fighting global warming. Apparently dengue this year is gonna be meaner so we should also be doing something about it since LKY says we shouldn't trust the government to get things done.

But no. Cuz 2 months later, SDP accuses the Ridge of censorship because apparently one of the Ridge's reporter had requested an interview with Chee Soon Juan, but the transcript of that interview was not published at all so that must be censorship because everyone else does it in Singapore. So maybe now we could all get a good laugh and move on since actually the interview was just to get a better understanding of the silly political forum which was what the article was about.

The Ridge replies recently and says so too. Mostly it was a good reply other than the very lack of expletives and vulgarities.

Of course the SDP must have the last say [as of now] and the plot thickens: the Ridge reporter who had asked for the interview promised it would be published, only for his editor to not want to use it. I particularly liked the reporter's email apology that the SDP produced saying that he was sorry to '...Mr Chee for having spent some of his personal time for an unpublished interview'. I'm sure Mr Chee has lots of personal time actually, when he is not behind bars.

Ok. Editors are always gonna have a final say in what appears and what doesn't, and when something doesn't appear, it doesn't necessarily mean censorship. I can think of so many reasons for an editor not to want to use an article, in this case, Chee's interview: the reporter did extra work, no more space le, not newsworthy, not auspicious etc etc. In this case, I think it was a matter of taste [has anyone read the interview? i can't believe the dude is a phd].

And like. Chee is so last century opposition? Now everyone is talking about JBJ lor.

-

And here's the bit my flames get really out of hand: this really is like a playground squabble: the bigger kid from the broken home with all his issues picking on the tiny tot happily minding his own business in the sand pit. Like all broken kids, they do their best work only in the playground.

chatterbox

Alot of things to say but tomorrow must wake up early early to kick some butt [or get kicked] so I will just talk about the funnest thing today: Chatterbox at Meritus Mandarin! Thanks to my wonderful colleague.


They shifted le. To their ex-revolving restaurant on the 38th floor. Here we can still see the mechanisms in place. The new location has alot more ambience than the old one; it's no longer literally a chatterbox because the seats are more spaced out. Only slight bad thing: the floor creaks.

















We had lobster laksa which is alot nicer than it looks on the already very nice picture except the serving is quite small even for a small eater like me.


I totally cleaned the bowl.

The view is also uber [pity the restaurant doesn't revolve anymore]. Who needs the silly Singapore Flyer to get a good view when you can just come to the Chatterbox? I think it costs $38 for a 30 minutes ride, $62 to add in a cocktail [i imagine you get one teensy cocktail to last you the whole experience]. For the reasonable cost of Chatterbox meal, you get the same view while eating yummy good. Good things in life don't have to be priceless.


Note this other pic. The green patch of greenery which the black patch of clouds seems to have taken a liking to is the Istana. Something wicked this way comes.


Misc musings: HSBC and UOB cardholders get discount. High tea on Saturdays and Sundays at $29.90++.

seoul: seodaemun prison

Abit overdue but here's some of the pics I took in Seoul. I start with the 3rd day lar cuz the first 2 days were mostly spent in-processing [very very long stories].


Here's me in my nice plushy new set of winter wear. Despite having been to the States during winter and considering myself a seasoned traveller, I think I must have been undone by my too low body fat composition; longjohn + tshirt + sweater + jacket + scarf failed to repel the Seoul cold and threatened to undermine my holiday. Never skim on the winter clothings folks. So I bought:
$80: fleece
$300: 2 in 1 jacket with fleece and a windbreaker
$30: nice gloves
Which really worked wonders. [digression: i used the super uber 2-in-1 jacket in singapore and i now face meetings in air-conditioned government offices and classrooms with confidence.]

We went to the Seodaemun prison after my winter shopping spree.

This is the hospital opposite the prison the moment we got out of the train station. SGH. Seoul General Hospital. Seriously speaking the other day I went to our SGH to visit a client. it's like you have to get past the chasm of never ending cars, and walk miles along the road to get to where you want to go. Bad hospital.

Park before the prison.



History lesson: Seodaemun Prison was built by the Japanese last time. So the Japanese and the Chinese were fighting over Korea which resulted in the Sino-Jap war of 1895 which the Japanese won. Apparently unlike the Chinese they were not just satisfied with regular tribute; they made many Koreans unhappy who started rebelling and so the Japanese had to built prisons like these all over the country to house these rebels which they caught. I think there's about 300 such prisons all over the country, most not in use liao, a couple still functions as a prison, and a couple more turned into tourist attractions like these [not really touristy though since local visitors outnumbered foreigners like 100:1].

Anywayz. So the place consists of wax figures re-enacting the torture scenes.

One of the many prison buildings. They all look the same though so take one take all liao. The Japanese built them though and you will note the functional simplicity of the design. Very interestingly hor. Dunnoe how the Japanese design the buildings: inside is way colder than outside. I think that's the most efficient torture ever. 30 minutes and I will confess to whatever you want me to confess liao.

aces go places

There's a letter in today's ST forum by an Ace Kindred Cheong scolding
this guy for locking up the national library from the inside. Besides
being wrong, he was wrong because what if the library caught fire?

Ace Kindred is a prolific forum writer. I first came across him when
he admonised Steven Spielberg for mixing politics in pulling out of
the Beijing Olympics video. I'm sure wherever corner of LA he is in,
Spielberg must have seen this letter and felt awful.

I googled 'Ace Kindred' and also this letter condemning a local
footballer dude for kicking his opponent, saying he should be in muay
thai instead. I think Ace misses a point: Local footballer was
unsporting and I can't think of any sport that condones that.

Before I left for Seoul I came across this letter scolding the guy who
burned the palace down. I didn't even have to read it to know who
wrote it. The next person who wants to burn the Merlion down better
think twice or else Ace will scold you.

With such a moral compass like Ace vigorously pointing the way, I can
sleep better at night. Even if Mas Selamat is still on the run. I know
I can trust Ace to scold him for toying with the feelings of his
captors and for willfully evading the efforts of Singapore's finests.

Ace is clearly against people who are unsporting, mixes politics with
everything, and who anyhow destroys things. That sounds alot like our
ministers. Go Ace go!

When I googled 'Ace Kindred' I was curious whether it was some sort of
honorific like Fuhrer or if it was some sort of rank in some
organization. I'm still not sure today.

saycheesecake

Lovely dinner at


Laksa Chowder. Easily the best dish I had in a long time, and the best dish the place offers.


Royal Lobster Bisque. Finally, lobster bisque in Singapore that's better than the one I used to have almost daily at HK MacDonald's, which was really good.



The main course! Classic palle or something like that. Basically italian short grain [riso] with seafood and chicken. This was the dish that attracted our attention in the first place, and I think expectations were too high: it was quite a disappointment. The rice was too dry for riso, there were not enough peppers, and the tastes were not subtle enough.


Desert! Green Apple Crumple. Well the place is called cheesecake so you know the cheesecake has to be good. And it is.

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Psychology/Sociology You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Psychology, Sociology, or related majors (e.g., Counseling, Industrial-Organizational (I-O) Psychology, Social Work, or other social science majors). It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it. Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Psychology and Sociology are both great minors to add to any major. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal. Psychology/Sociology 100% History/Anthropology/LiberalArts 100% English/Journalism/Comm 100% French/Spanish/OtherLanguage 100% Biology/Chemistry/Geology 94% Visual&PerformingArts 94% Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health 81% HR/BusinessManagement 81% Mathematics/Statistics 81% Religion/Theology 75% Physics/Engineering/Computer 75% PoliticalScience/Philosophy 75% Education/Counseling 63% Accounting/Finance/Marketing 63%

ard my workplace: classroom of the future

ermmm so will there be lessons today?

once upon a time

in the car wash

on the 2nd day of cny. after our car kanna the 'battle of london' amount of bird droppings [huat ar!]. nowadays they don't have the automatic washing thing liao. replaced with 3-4 chinese workers.

feel like a shark.

cny stops the war

Alfie and Meow Meow, in a rare moment of calm where Alfie is not seriously trying to actively puncture any of Meow Meow's arteries, or mounting poor Meow Meow from behind, or pouncing towards Meow Meow like Yokozuna. Only on CNY. Probably the only good CNY is for. 

going for my exam

and looking sharp :)

false prophet

Just had my second hokkien lesson. I have nothing but respect for teacher's linguistic ability. Empirically speaking, it is super hard to acquire more than one language at a coordinate level, and acquiring more than one language at non bi-coordinate levels seriously screws up your mind and here we have a dude who knows English, Chinese, hokkien, Cantonese, Japanese, and Malay and he actually appears intelligent. Amazing.

Midway through the lesson he started giving out postcards proudly in large obtuse type flaunting these gems:

- the way to be happy is to make others happy.

- happiness is a by-product of an effort to make someone else happy.

- one of the deepest secrets of life is that all that is really worth doing is what we do for others.

What utter bullshit.

I think it is supremely irresponsible of him to be going around propagating such truely false falaehoods.

All my life I do nothing but give. If everything I've given could be converted into some common currency, it would probably be enuff to take over citibank more than one time. I've given time, given money, given effort, given love and gotten absolutely nothing back in return, let alone happiness.

Fast forward today and I am seriously out of things to give or even the will to give, or at least the will to struggle to keep what little deficit I have left. So I just wasted a year or so, much of it involving ridiculous trips to redundant lands, and this new year looks to be no different. While people cheerfully and nonchalantly move on I'm left with a lingering phantom pain, that type of indignant pain where you feel you have to rip out an appendage or two, and ownership of said appendages is not an issue.

But maybe hokkien teacher could be right. That must mean the people that I know must be dementers, those things in harry potter that suck you of happiness.

The thing about dementers: they don't let you let go.

means testing

Sniffy the Virtual rat is a rat where cohorts of hordes of insincere psych undergrads administer electric shocks or feed food to Sniffy in order to get him to behave in a certain way. No rat deserves such a fate.

People get so many flavors/treats/services/gifts/education from me, favors/treats/services/gifts/education they so don't deserve. No one deserves such a fate.

I should do means-testing on all the stuff I give out. No-one who was mean and callous to me should deserve anything other than a well-aimed, well-timed and well-executed roundhouse kick.

Means testing is really cool because is prevents people who don't deserve anything from getting what they don't deserve.

Alot of my job is means testing, which basically involves finding out how many children my client has, and getting their total income then divide by something which I shouldn't go into too many details about. So clients who have children basically don't deserve any subsidies. Fair enough I think.

I'm not very good at means testing though.

I find it hard when in a stuffy, dark and dank one-room flat where the electrical appliances are as liveless as the occupant, in front of an elderly person, ravaged by age and society, whose todays were just like yesterdays, and the tomorrows are no better, to even consider that this person might not deserve what meagre solace I can provide.

The only way I can find out how many children uncle or auntie has is to -gasp!- ask them.

Sometimes uncle gets so excited because I am the first bit of civilization he comes into contact with in such a long time, and such a fine bit at that, that they forget how many children they have exactly. I'm a social worker, not a FBI lie-detector.

Or I could be fixing the washing machine and as we all know water pipes have a mind of their own and this mind includes deciding to burst and gush out unexpectedly usually when me and my notebook is in the way, and we all know how paper takes to water: so well that the ink smudges and the $200,000/year income uncle's son earns becomes $20.

Generally, half of all my clients speak Hokkien only. The other half are just lying that when they say they know other languages. My Hokkien is totally non-existent. I have this skill where I can tell how many children uncle has by looking at his eyes. It's way cool.

So yeah. I'm not very competent. Good thing in this country, incompetence earns you millions.

-

And so as the earth moves mindlessly on, Sniffies will continue to be shocked and stuffed in ignorant pursuit of redundant knowledge and I will continue to give stuff out to those who don't deserve anything more than anything.

How wonderful life is.

the woman in the street

Decomposition by Tulfikar Ghose

I have a picture I took in Bombay
of a beggar asleep on the pavement;
grey-haired, wearing shorts and a dirty shirt,
his shadow thrown aside like a blanket.

His arms and legs could be cracks in the stone,
routes for the ants' journeys, the flies' descents.
Brain-washed by the sun into exhaustion,
he lies veined into stone, a fossil man.

Behind him there is a crowd passingly
bemused by a pavement trickster and quite
indifferent to this very common sight
of an old man asleep on the pavement.

I thought it then a good composition
and glibly called it 'The Man in the Street',
remarking how typical it was of
India that the man in the street lived there.

His head in the posture of one weeping
into a pillow chides me now for my
presumption at attempting to compose
art out of his hunger and solitude.

singaporeans say the darnest things

If there is an award for figuring Life out, Singaporeans so deserve it.

-

So I was buying some shoes yesterday when this auntie came up to the nice salesperson and asked for US Size 3 shoes for her son because he was 3 years old.

Please lor. Americans are bigger than Asians; how can US size 3 be for 3 years old?

-

Amongst all the condolences for the 5 unfortunate dragonboaters, a friend came across this guy calling the dragonboaters typical Singaporeans: arrogant bastards who they we are Gods especially when we go overseas.

I am pissed. There is actually someone more offensive than I am.



According to Frederick from Singapore who writes in the condolences book for the millions the Khmer Rouge slaughtered, Cambodia is the abode of Satan, or at least his summer getaway.

I think so too.


How else are these children able to stay afloat in wash-basins in the river that killed 5 able-bodied swimmers in nothing more than a wash basin? This must be the work of the Devil.

Also, the Tonle Sap, the river the dragonboaters died in is the only river in the world that reverses its flow on a regularly basis. Paganic.

-

Moral: If you think you are God, don't go to the Devil's country.

I should get an award for this.

blerdy hell redux

"We regret to inform you that we are unable to assist Mr XXX in our meal delivery service.

According to our records, Mr XXX's wife was our client, and the food that the household was previously receiving was stopped upon her unfortunate passing in the June of 2007. The social worker then had also assessed Mr XXX of being in good health.

Upon receipt of your letter, we have extended our service to Mr XXX. I made three attempts to locate Mr XXX at his residence in order to re-assess his condition: on the 21st Nov Wedenesday in the afternoon, and subsequently on the mornings of Thursday and Friday. They were in vain. In addition, during the visit on Wednesday at 3 pm, I found the lunch we delivered still hanging upon his door [the picture is included].

As such, we are unable to assess Mr XXX and ascertain his eligiblity for Home Help Services.

As stipulated by the Home Help service model by the National Council of Social Services, Home Help service is extended only to home-bound in-ambulant elderly having difficulties with the activities of daily living [ADL-dependency]. Many elderly request for Home Help services because it supplements their meagre income but we need to draw such lines because we have limited resources.

We ask for your understanding and look forward to further co-operation with yourself and the Tanjong Pagar GRC."

-

I hate myself.

blerdy hell

I'm drafting a letter to turn down one of Indranne's referral for one of her resident. This is the version that won't ever make it to the final letter of course, but it needs to see the light of day:

"To Indranee Thurai Rajah, MP for Tanjong Pagar GRC, or whoever wrote the letter for you:

We regret to inform you that we are unable to assist Mr XXX in our meal delivery service.

Mr XXX's wife was our client, so the food delivery was stopped upon her unfortunate passing in the June of 2007.

We have extended our service to Mr XXX upon receipt of your letter out of goodwill. I made three attempts to locate Mr XXX at his residence: on Wednesday 21st Nov afternoon and Thursday and Friday morning. In addition, on one visit, the Wednesday one at 3 pm, the lunch we delivered to Mr XXX was hanging upon his door [a picture is included in Appendix 2].



As we are unable to assess Mr XXX and ascertain his eligibility for our service, we are unable to assist him.

As stipulated by the Home Help service model by the National Council of Social Services [the relevant pages are attached in Appendix 1], eligible clientele for Home Help extends only to home-bound in-ambulant elderly with difficulties in the activities of daily living. This precludes elderly folks who require our services to cut costs."

-

But I am still pissed.

I realized it doesn't matter what I write. Blerdy Indranee probably doesn't care about the outcome of the referral because MPs can't ever say no to their residents. It doesn't matter whether Mr XXX gets the service or not because blerdy Indranee still wins. She wins because she agreed to write the referral for Mr XXX so she looks good in his eyes. If we help the client, blerdy Indranee gets the credit in his eyes because she wrote the referral for him. Now I am turning him down. And the client will say: It's not blerdy Indranee who's turning him down.

Blerdy hell.

There is something disturbingly wrong with this country.