Joys of the cut peach and hidden sleeve

my life would suck without you

2009-08-09T12:19:00.001-07:00

when in doubt, give hope

2009-08-09T12:15:00.001-07:00

Quite possibly one of the reasons why I never made it as valedictorian is valedictorians have to give speeches, and no prizes for guessing what would be the content of my speech. It will honestly make this speech seem really tame and friendly even. Honestly honestly speaking, the kindest word I can force myself to muster for a PAP person is 4 letter-ed and starts with F.

When I lost my job at moral, and then subsequently at SGH, I admit that that was really a rough time for me. Why was I subjecting myself to pain and suffering in an industry so thoroughly defiled and befouled by NCSS, for a job that obviously is not going to pay me for what I'm worth. I did get another job eventually [and I'm still there] but everyday I have to ask myself what I am doing there when I feel I have been so thoroughly short-changed: I am receiving a pittance of a salary not because the organization cannot afford it, but because this is what they feel I am worth as a social worker because afterall, I have no FSC experience. Yet constantly, I'm being turned to for my knowledge of the social services, the contacts I have made, and my mass com expertise. I resolved to act like what I'm paid, a total newbie, but how can I possibly say no? Adding oil to fire, for some strange reason, inter-bank creditting of salary only works for POSB or DBS accounts so I had to open a disgusting account with DBS. And adding even more oil to fire, nowhere is the miasma of NCSS seen more but in a FSC. And I had to smile at those disgusting NCSS cretins.

And to top it all off, I have to get accredited with the Singapore Association of Social Workers [SASW]. I'd rather get inducted into the KKK first.

—

I would like to end this post with Hope though.

This is an excellent speech by a Ms Allison Anais Brunner. Excerpt:

"I believe that hope is intrinsic in the individuals, families, and communities we serve. But what do we do when people feel hopeless? I believe we do as my former therapist did for me when I wasn’t able: We hold the hope for them."

—

I hold the Hope that one day things will be better.

8:22

2009-08-09T11:35:00.001-07:00

So at 8.22 PM earlier today, according to the local news, time stood still as Singaporeans dropped whatever they were doing and were united in saying the pledge. I always suspected Woodlands was part of JB because as I roamed around the area looking for dinner, life went on as usual: usual delinquents making too much noise at the basketball court, usual Me looking for blood and usual G half torn between being patriotic and pissing me off.

Me and the pledge go back way back. In Primary 5, I stopped placing my hand to my heart during morning assembly. In secondary school, I stopped stopping whenever the pledge was being recited. In JC, I got into the most trouble over the pledge. I was perpetually late, and one of the punishments for late comers was to say the pledge. I resisted against putting hand to heart but I couldn't escape reciting it, and try as I might, I could never get the last line right. I mean, all decent governments should be striving to achieve a nation built on happyness, peace and prosperity no? Is there something else more important than either happyness, peace or prosperity? I could never figure out the right mix, so I was perpetually in and out of the discipline master's office where he continuously made assinuations that I was a Jehovah's witness. And secondly, shouldn't the pledge be more for the civil service and ministers to recite and not us, since we are not in any position to effect change?

Of course I know what I missed out. 'Peace' was never part of the pledge. Prosperity is. Specifically prosperity for the very chosen few. And peace is something that is not important of course. A country can never have peace. A country is a arbitrarily demarcated piece of land fluffed up by a mascot and history. Without the history, the nation cannot exist but history wears off with the passing of time. History almost always dissipates in the face of peace.

How else can we explain the constant reminder of the threat of terrorism? The threat of racial disharmony? And the latest in turn today: the threat of swine flu? The fact is none of our existing measures go beyond simple serving as a visual reminder that such a threat remains, and by extension, we need to depend on the government to keep us safe. How easy is it to evade the security guards at the MRT stations, if they even need evading in the first place. How redundant is it to have temperature checks when a person would probably have travelled through layers of commute before being detected, if he is even detected in the first place.

-

In other news, managed to catch Up! last Friday [and will be catching it yet again later this afternoon]. It's quite possibly the best show I've ever seen. It's really really good, although G remarked that I make the bitter protagonist look optimistic.

bullshit of the week: terrorist expert on the news

2009-07-19T11:47:00.001-07:00

I caught the news just now, because it unfortunately sandwiched between the Goblet of Fire, which I was watching, which shows how far down the domestication ladder I have fallen. Harry Potter has always been a nosebleed/vomit blood experience for me: so we have the good guys who are bound by their intangible rules which the bad guys capitalize upon to spawn 7 sequels; and in the end the bad guys come undone because of more tangible rules. Rather bullshitty, but not as bullshitty as the news of course. Incidentally, I felt the only bit that wasn't bullshit was the segment when they showed these bulls being massaged so that they can produce better milk for cheese.

There was a mayor on the news, and a minister, but I think today I wanna single out this ang moh terrorist expert who was giving her 2 cents worth on the Jarkarta bombing.

Her first point was that the bombers this time round must be the same as the previous time because they were using the same type of bomb. I'm reminded of the time a whole chunk of my classmates were hauled up for plagiarism because everyone googled and lifted the information from the first link.

Next, our expert mentioned that this attack must have taken alot of planning and coordination because of the target [JW Marriot]. I'm no terrorist expert, but occasionally I like to dabble in terrorist mind games. Let's see. There's no point bombing a rural area because noone will probably know a bomb went off, so that leaves the cities, of which Indonesia doesn't have very much of, narrowing the possible area by I don't know 80%? Generally it also makes so sense to bomb the locals, because Asian governments generally treat the people who voted them in as fodder, so that rules out places where there's low ang moh to local ratios, which rules out yet another 15%. Hotels are a logical choice, and based on the previous point, ruling out hotels like Best Budget Hotel Jarkarta, what do we get? JW Marriot.

And seriously honestly, I don't see how much planning and coordination is required to drag a suitcase into the hotel restaurant for breakfast.

In addition, to support the 'alot of time and planning' point, our expert also pointed out that JW Marriot is not cheap and our terrorists should have had to spend abit of time raising the funds to stay there. I agree with her totally. I'm a PMET and I totally have difficulty affording a room at a hotel like JW Marriot, except of course unless I don't plan to check out, because I don't know? Hotels like only charge you after you check out?

CSR101

2009-06-19T19:03:00.001-07:00

To NCSS, Singapore Power and the bunch of people at the Spinelli opposite HarbourFront discussing their obviously shitty from the start and gonna get more shitty CSR project with Eunice Olsen [yar I'm sure kids would love to get to know our parliamentary system]:

Pixar grants girl's dying wish to see 'Up':

"Colby Curtin, a 10-year-old with a rare form of cancer, was staying alive for one thing – a movie.
From the minute Colby saw the previews to the Disney-Pixar movie Up, she was desperate to see it. Colby had been diagnosed with vascular cancer about three years ago, said her mother, Lisa Curtin, and at the beginning of this month it became apparent that she would die soon and was too ill to be moved to a theater to see the film.

After a family friend made frantic calls to Pixar to help grant Colby her dying wish, Pixar came to the rescue.

The company flew an employee with a DVD of Up, which is only in theaters, to the Curtins’ Huntington Beach home on June 10 for a private viewing of the movie.
.
.
.
Pixar has an automated telephone answering system, Orum-Moore said, and unless she had a name of a specific person she wanted to speak to, she could not get through. Orum-Moore guessed a name and the computer system transferred her to someone who could help, she said.

Pixar officials listened to Colby’s story and agreed to send someone to Colby’s house the next day with a DVD of "Up," Orum-Moore recalled.

She immediately called Lisa Curtin, who told Colby.

“Do you think you can hang on?” Colby’s mother said.

“I’m ready (to die), but I’m going to wait for the movie,” the girl replied.
.
.
.
At about 12:30 p.m. the Pixar employee came to the Curtins’ home with the DVD.
.
.
.
Colby died with her mom and dad nearby at 9:20 p.m."

That's how you do CSR, folks.

save the world

2009-06-14T07:58:00.001-07:00

I have a list of things I would like to accomplish. It's a respectable list, don't plan on doing everything on it of course, just managing one on it would be damn fulfilling liao and I'm not a greedy person and without ado, here's the list:

1] Eternal world peace
2] Help Thio Su Mien's troubled soul see Reason
3] Rid NCSS of stupidity [this is worth 2 items]
4] Write a good commencement speech

What is a good commencement speech? The ones I had so far involve going forth into the world and achieving great economic value, being a useful member of society, giving back to the community, and last but not least, vote for the PAP. The irony is, anyone who'd gotten a competent Baccalaureate education should find them complete and utter bullshit.

So what is a good commencement speech? The following commencement speech which comes from the University of Portland. Excerpt:

'...Each of us is as complex and beautiful as all the stars in the universe. We have done great things and we have gone way off course in terms of honoring creation. You are graduating to the most amazing, stupefying challenge ever bequested to any generation. The generations before you failed. They didn’t stay up all night. They got distracted and lost sight of the fact that life is a miracle every moment of your existence. Nature beckons you to be on her side. You couldn’t ask for a better boss. The most unrealistic person in the world is the cynic, not the dreamer. Hope only makes sense when it doesn’t make sense to be hopeful...'

It's a great speech.

Read it.

obama's first 100 days

2009-05-10T12:22:00.001-07:00

Obama's speech marking his first 100 days.

Filled with gems like:

'I have to confess I really didn't want to be here tonight but I knew I had to come. It's one more problem that I've inherited from George W. Bush.'

'..Sasha and Milia aren't here tonight because they're grounded. You can't just take Air Force One on a joyride to Manhattan. I don't care whose kids you are.'

'I believe my next 100 days will be so successful, I will be able to complete them in 72 days - and on the 73rd day I will rest.'

'..My relationship with Hillary. We have been rivals during the campaign but these days we could not be closer. In fact, the second she got back from Mexico, she pulled me into a hug and gave me a big kiss and told me I better get down there myself..'

And my personal fave:

'...A government without newspapers, a government without a tough and vibrant media of all sorts is not an option for the United States of America. I may not agree with everything you write or report. I may even complain or more likely Gibes [?] will complain from time to time about how you do your jobs but I do so with the knowledge that when you are at your best then you help me be at my best. You help all of us who serve at the pleasure of the American people to do our jobs better, by holding us accountable, by demanding honesty, by preventing us from taking shortcuts and falling into easy political games that people are so desperately weary of. That kind of reporting is worth preserving, not just for your sake but for the public's. We count on you to help us make sense of a complex world and tell the stories of our lives in the way they happen. And we look for you for Truth, even if it's always an approximation...'

-

I still support Hillary. But just barely.

Cambodia Day 1: Phnom Penh

2009-04-19T14:18:00.001-07:00

So post-Cambodian holiday, things are still as sucky. I hate going for interviews, having to explain my ideals to people, and being exasperated their feeble minds are so firmly entrenched in the now and the I that it thoroughly sickens me. But on to happyer things: my trip to Cambodia:

-

So the trip started off with a early morning flight to Phnom Penh. I think perhaps the redundancy of army and reservist must be addictive: the first day is always some exceedingly meaningless [relative to the other days, which is also meaningless] series of events collectively known as in-processing, which mostly consists of waiting in bunk in various positions of rest. But when you reach Phnom Penh at 9 am, there's alot of day ahead of you, and I don't think it's wise, or worthwhile, to lull the whole day in the hotel, which, is not the one in the picture above. Our hotel was opposite, and while now quite as big, it looks quite nice. The exterior is not much, but interior is very ethnic + rustic + advant garde. And our room is the deluxe superior room, or as KM puts it, 'the most bottom option'.

So it's almost quite regrettable to leave the cool comfort of the room for the harsh Cambodian sun, and the even harsher tuk tuk touts. The first tuk tuk we hailed quoted 10USD, before we finally whittled it down to 4USD. At our destination, which was quite away from Phnom Penh, no other tuk tuk driver would take us, so we ended up paying the same guy 6USD to get us back [So he got his 10USD in the end]. It's almost blackmail. Going back to the hotel cost another 2USD [from another guy], relatively cheap, but haggling took like almost 15 minutes [tks to KM] and we promised to book the guy the whole of tomorrow.

The couple of places we went to on the first day included the Killing Fields and the S-21 Genocide Museum.

Actually I still cannot make heads or tails on what happened during the Khmer Rouge. In fact, the first time I was here, my friends who showed me around mentioned that many of the younger generation of Cambodians don't believe the genocide ever happened. The Killing Fields is where they supposedly ship people from the S-21 prison to execute them, and it's now open to the public for 2USD per person.

There's a nice nice memorial there now, but I heard long ago, it was just a series of wooden shacks, and a big field where they buried the people in after they killed them. Lonely Planet seems to have a beef with outsourcing, and made several rather derogatory comments about the fact the the Killing Fields have been outsourced to a Japanese company. I'm neutral about outsourcing; afterall, a certain government has proven that you can don't outsource a memorial but they are still not above turning it into a carnival area for commercial convenience and gain.

If you're into a career in forensics, the Killing Field/Cambodia is a good place to start. The Cambodians will not fail to stress how each person died, by looking at the damage done to the skulls. Cracks, holes, dents all have a story of their own to tell, and these stories usually involve clubbing, bashing, a gun, or any combination of them.

This is the tree where they supposedly hung a loudhailer to drown out the sounds of the dying so people around wouldn't know what's going on. I don't really get this part: if you're in absolute power, why the need to hide whatever you are doing.

And here is one of several holes littering the area where they buried their victims after killing them. The holes have all been supposedly exhumed, but the holes remain.

The poster tree of the revolution. So the most famous killing method the Khmer Rouge had was when they smashed the head of a child or baby on the tree, like a baseball bat, and this is the tree where they did it on. Master Sang. 6th Dan Tae Kwan Do has this training protocol where he teaches us to practise kicking by kicking the tree. He advises 'not to harm the tree'. I think he worries unduly.

Next it's off to where it all begun: the S21 prison, entry at 2USD per person where you get to check out the place where prisoners were tortured and interrogated there for about 3 months on average before being sent off to be killed. In many ways, I think the Killing Fields is alot more humane than the prison; you go there and you die, rather than a protracted process of pain and suffering. I didn't take much pictures there, because I think this place has alot more baggage than the Killing Fields, and you never know what you can accidentally capture. So the place used to be a school before being converted to a prison. The first floor was mainly the administrative offices and torture chambers; the prisoners, when not being tortured, were held in either makeshift wooden cells barely a shoulder wide and only almost as long as an average person, or chained up on the floor where they laid side by side with others. Tortures included this gymnastic bar which they used to hang prisoners upside down from, to dunk into this big jar of putrid water, and lots of not so nice things with spikes and sharp edges.

There was a screening of a documentary on the S21 prison at one of the rooms. Not sure if they wanted us to relieve the S21 experience, but the room was dark and sealed up, with only one small fan blowing in the corner. I fell asleep halfway; I awoke to find that half the room was empty.

A word of caution: generally asiarooms.com is a good place for your hotelling needs, but there is a good reason why a hotel is labelled 'hot deal'. Not that our hotel was just beside the S-21, or had bloody gloves in the room, but it was rather far from everything, especially food, and Phnom Penh tuk tuk drivers are persistent blood suckers, although the good thing is we got to see extra extra things, like Cambodia's rendition of Gayworld, as above.

First real meal in Cambodia, and it was not bad. From top, some Cambodian pad thai-y dish, sour soup, and the dish I had: Khmer curry, which was more savory than spicy, because I think their focus seems to be more on the coconut milk.

Cambodia Day 0 and bleeding $$

2009-04-09T02:21:00.000-07:00

The S21 prison, now known as the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum, was at the center of Khmer Rouge brutality during that dark period. At least 17,000 people went through there, where they were interrogated and tortured over about 2-3 months in very very horrible ways, to get the answers that they were supposed to give, before they were sent off to be executed. The man in charge of this prison, Comrade Duch, is currently on trial for 'crimes against humanity', which is weird because all Duch did was follow the orders given by his superiors [i.e the people who pay him], and he did a damn fine job about it. 17,000 confessions gotten, and corresponding punishment meted out. How more competent can you get. In addition, during his trial, Duch also mentioned that he came up with alot of the tortures that were used in S-21. Wah, the guy also has initiative. Competent, resourceful and obedient. Everything I am not. What more can an employer ask for?

The guy deserves a glowing testimonial.

-

Sarcasm aside, not that I don't like Cambodia or travelling, or am not grateful that I get to make the time to travel, this really is quite an awkward time for me. It's like I'm no longer playing on my own terms in too many ways and I always hate that. So I'm still gonna come back unemployed, and half the time I'm there, I'm constantly conscious of my phone, in case any perspective employers call. Makes it worst that I'm on prepaid [because I don't see postpaid making sense when I don't use my phone much and I'm already paying my telco way too much even for the bits that I do use]. and prepaid really sucks when roaming: $6 per call per minute, even if the call is made by some idiotic people, like the 2 idiots from MDIS who called; one to ask about something about my enrollment application which I had already told him face to face to, and the other some bitch probably trying to do her own survey with her own ulterior agenda.

Took Jetstar to Cambodia. I'm quite sure I haven't put on much weight these past months and I swear that the amount of leg space seems to have shrunk. Not sure if it's also a coincidence, but they are offering front row and emergency door seats at an additonal $20, payable on the spot if you so can't tahan. KM suggests next, they'll charge you $5 per every 10 degrees you want your seat to incline by.

Phnom Penh is so not a tourist-friendly or cheap place. The basic demoninator is the USD dollar, so everything is at least SGD$1.50. There's no taxi there, so we have to take the tuk tuk, and agree on a price beforehand. We spent like 13USD on travelling on the first day, and another 16 today. Food costs at least 2-3 USD a meal, and there's like 2-6 USD of admission fees per place we went to, even the temple.

Tomorrow we head to Siem Reap, where already 36 USD for to and fro bus ride, 45 USD for tour guide and admission tickets to the temples there, is already foregone.

miscarried

2009-04-05T12:01:00.001-07:00

My friend so nicely put it: it's almost like I suffered a miscarriage.

To put things in perspective on how stuck SGH's HR policy is: it's like I joined Al Quaeda and Osama doesn't think I'm a very good terrorist, and therefore I'm not suitable. Not that Moral = Al Quaeda; my main point is management people aren't necessary there because they deserve it. My take is, from one management to another, you can't start questioning another organization's capability to manage because... Let's just say Moral's management most probably isn't the only unfit one around.

So it's said that I don't 'take my work seriously' so I guess we have to start from the start on what is it exactly I didn't take seriously.

Home Help Service West is a service providing services to elderly who are home-bound, so we send people down to the elderly's house to do stuff for them, which primarily consists five components: daily meal delivery, personal hygiene [2x a week], housekeeping [4x a month], laundry [ad hoc basis; clothes usually collected during meal delivery rounds] and to and fro escort for medical appointments. Of course, Moral doesn't provide such services for free; Moral is able to claim for each service rendered to each client from NCSS, i.e. NCSS subsidizes each client to an amount based on the subsidy they are entitled to, either 75% or 50% of the charge. So Moral graciously absorbs the remaining 25% or 50%, or so my manager led me to believe for the greater part I was there with her incessant whining that the clients need to be grateful because we're making a loss for them blah blah blah; turns out that MCYS foots the portion that NCSS doesn't, this little tidbit coming from my manager's mouth [hope people seeing are seeing a trend now?].

So my job essentially is to decide that someone is crippled enough to be placed on the service, and to assess their financial situation, in what we call 'means-testing', through collecting relevant financial documents like payslips and CPF thingies and then getting the Client's signature [thumbprint more often than not] on both a contract and the means-testing application form. NCSS requires both forms duly signed and filled up, approved by the social worker and the manager, with relevant supporting documents, before it can honour the payment for each client. For some reason, NCSS thinks that only a social worker is qualified enough to do the assessment and means-test.

How do I decide that someone is eligible for the service? Till today, I have no idea. There is simply no clear set of criteria I can work from. NCSS hasn't been that helpful either. My manager? Not social work trained, only notion of assessment is to sound sympathetic when talking about the clients, but dropping them at the slightest excuse. I did do my own research, consulted some journals and textbooks and came up with some forms and criteria, but it's a mixed bag; homebound-ness has a psychological component; the slightest wound can fell some people, while there are those determined few that refuse to let death or disability get in their way of living their lives, which gets tricky because people do make noise when clients are not at home and all.

'People' make noise when some clients are not deservedly 'homebound' by their books. They make noise when clients are feeding our food to the birds and demand I go check it out [like what am I supposed to do? ask the client? stake out?]. They make noise when I reject clients they referred on very valid grounds. Cutting a long story short, no fixed set of criteria, people thinking they know best, manager who doesn't know best.

Essentially, I'm just a glorified signature collector, so that Moral can claim the subsidies from NCSS. It doesn't really make a difference if I'm at the job or not; there can always be someone else more willing to get the signatures everyone seems to want to orgase over.

Intermittently, NCSS asks for statistics, beyond the ones they require every 6 monthly. So the stats are to prove whether the service is working or not. For Home Help, 4 sets of figures are required for every service, and a fifth set where all the services are combined. An example:

For the Meal Delivery Service
1. N [number of people] were referred for the quarter.
2. Of N, N1 were deemed eligible.
3, Of N1, N2 received the service.
4. Of N2, N3 stayed in the community at the end of the quarter.
Therefore, the N3 people are still in the community thanks to Home Help Service.

There was a meeting where NCSS got an expert to come along to discuss about service KPIs. At the table, I mentioned that between [3] and [4] required a considerable leap of faith, which everyone just laughed off. The expert came along, practically mentioned the same thing, albeit less dramatically, and everyone started groveling. So I hope this just goes to shows how meaningless the things NCSS ask for are.

They are even more meaningless considering you have a manager who doesn't know how to produce them, and the reluctant social worker who makes them up.

Towards the end, there was the issue with some old accounts: apparently our auditors [KS Chan] had to audit some collated figures for 2006 [when I wasn't there yet] and the only reference was like reams of reams of paper. Manager got into her usual high-panick-nothing-to-be-done-mode. KS Chan who probably thinks that accountants are god's gift to the world, and that he's god's gift to accountants, decided that the only way was to transfer everything to soft copy [that's like 400 clients x 30 days x 5-6 mths x 5 services] and 'can't we just get more social workers to do it' because god forbid, the accountant actually has to pore through paper work to verify stuff. I think the issue was resolved several temp staff later and some very, ahem, creative accounting.

So can I be forgiven for not taking a job that doesn't take me seriously seriously? A job where I have to learn whatever that needs learning on my own, and make up the rest?

But I do take the job seriously. I take my clients very seriously. And it's very disappointing when I don't seem to see the same seriousness around. I seriously think the service is severely understaffed; we service an area from Redhill/Commonwealth all the way through Chinatown to the Beach Road area. Lunch delivery starts at about 1030 and ends at 1, which is an awfully long time to wait for your food. There was, and still is, abit of an issue with clients living in some areas having to receive both lunch and dinner in one delivery. There's no fruits, or when there is, usually rarely, or when NCSS or some VIP is making a tour, it's usually only bananas. I personally find the food edible, so do most of the clients because they don't have a choice, but it's definitely not worth the $3.50/meal that NCSS subsidizes for each client, and that's the whole shady deal of outsourcing the food to this department called Moral Enterprise, which is very enterprising to say the least. The staff were not trained to escort clients, and quite frequently late for appointments; resulting in some clients actually missing their appointments. There was even the issue of getting clients to fix appointments at nearer hospitals so we didn't have to travel so far. Internal communications was archaic and involved many layers. Housekeeping sessions were random, and the default offered to the clients was 2x/mth [because if you offer 4x a mth and fail to meet that quota, you don't claim a cent at all, unless the client stipulated he/she wanted a lesser frequency].

It's almost like doing Home Help and biting off such a big pie so that you can tell people because we are doing it, like the same way my forms are properly needed so that my manager can sign them because there's really the only bit of managing she manages to do.

fart hard, queef proud

2009-04-04T11:15:00.001-07:00

Disclaimer: I've taken to whining here because people just can't seem to get me, or they're more engrossed in their own crummy interests, which is nothing wrong lah, but it would be nice to have had someone who did cared.
-

So for those that don't know: my latest attempt at getting gainfully employed has been botched, thanks to my conniving, scummy, petty ex-management [i use the word loosely; they are, in fact the furtherest you can get from management].

Not sure what was in the letter they wrote, but the bits I garnered include 'not taking my work seriously', 'no sense of hierarchy' and also about my reports, or the lack of them.

I'm quite grateful to the MSW head [now ex-head] for doing all that she could, trying to fight for me and all, even calling up my ex-manager to get more details [and I was told that slimy bitch had the cheek to appear all gracious and big-hearted].

I don't regret whatever I did at Moral. It's not difficult to get a good/satisfactory testimonial. But there is nothing respectable about getting a good testimonial from such an organization. I just feel indignant that HR is stuck up enough to disregard the disrepute of Moral, that haggy ex-boss can disregard all the good things I've done or tried to do, and disregard the fact all the obstacles I faced, one of which was herself. If I do regret anything, it's that I stayed too long, probably in hopes that change could come, and I did not demand to be sacked when they told me to go.

Contrary to the common perception, I do have a sense of hierarchy. Top of my hierarchy are the clients, and unlike NCSS or Moral, does not include the need to showboat, the need for the bottomline at considerable client expense, the need for personal comfort and luxury.

There is a notion of hierarchy delineated by someone's seniority, experience and accomplishments, none of which I had first hand encounter with at Moral. The person who hired me was the director for the Tanjong Pagar Family Service Center and he seemed alot more interested in the bottomline of his centre; quite possibly only hiring me so that he could second me out to Home Help, I was told he charged alot more than what I was being paid and classified it as training fee but I only ever saw him like once on a consultancy basis, and I was the one who requested for it because I needed to whine about the job. My own executive director I've heard and personally experienced for myself, is the archetypal model of NATO, more interested in the colour of his hair, and the number of cronies he surrounds himself with. The Chairman and CEO I've heard from at least 3 sources, one of which is the aforementioned ED, are computer idiots who have their emails printed out to them where they probably make their vermilion comments. The fat one is a doctor. I wondering if he's still practicing [Lalala]. My own manager is hardly social work trained and barely competent enough to make managerial decisions; in fact, all the time I was there, I can't seem to recall any decision she has made. I have heard rather good things about the EIPIC centre's executive director and the ED for the Bukit Panjang FSC, who is kinda estranged from Moral because he refuses to 'play' along to the whole culture of pandering which the EDs seem to gleefully indulge in.

I also vaguely realize, there is the notion of hierarchy as delineated by the person who pays you. Considering that the person who pays me doesn't really get the money by productive means, but rather through donations and handouts, I supposed there is an onus to use the money for which it was donated for, in which case, yar, clients at the top of the hierarchy makes sense? There is also the hierarchy that comes with family members, something I experienced way too much of, which seems to be an in-thing in our fine meritocratic country, and which I rather not ever come across again. As the new MCYS ad [which I still think after watching it like 7 times is contrite though the conception is good] says, family is imperfect. So I say, it's best to keep the imperfections within the family?

Yes, I do know about hierarchies.

And I tire. WIll carry on the rest tomorrow.

why i am not a christian

2009-03-29T00:18:00.001-07:00

Ironic.

Bishops warn of reiki danger:"

'Reiki therapy finds no support either in the findings of natural science or in Christian belief,' said the USCCB doctrine committee in a document issued Thursday.

In health terms, using a therapeutic technique that has no scientific basis 'is not generally prudent,' said the eight bishops on the committee, which in the past has issued guidelines on how to minister to 'persons with homosexual inclinations' and frequently asked questions about why only men are ordained.

-

and

'There is a radical difference between Reiki therapy and the healing by divine power in which Christians believe: for Christians the access to divine healing is by prayer to Christ as Lord and Savior, while the essence of Reiki is not a prayer but a technique,' the bishops said in a statement.

"

I suppose the enemy of your enemy is your friend.

i'd be surprisingly good for you..

2009-02-23T08:44:00.001-08:00

As long as your cause is just and right..

senseless

2009-02-19T03:36:00.001-08:00

Senseless senseless death.

Noone should have to die like this, except certain elder statesmen.

sdu + sds

2009-01-28T16:09:00.001-08:00

So the Social Development Unit and the Social Development Service is going to merge.

The SDU caters to graduates, while the SDS to non-graduates. [sheesh, who comes up with these names].

So now graduates can stand a chance to meet non-graduates, who by the way, outnumber graduates almost 3:1.

Wah, the non-graduates get a good deal man.

And LKY is so gonna throw a fit.

ls xmas special

2008-12-25T06:15:00.001-08:00

or biting the hand that used to feed me. See how I spill the dirt on how degenerate the Thye Hua Kwan Moral Society is ermmm right after I finish my physiology and molecular biology homework.

Before that, feast on this letter from the ST Forum.

"Society aims to serve Singaporeans of all backgrounds
I REFER to Ms Grace Chua's article, 'DBS' charity tie-up draws flak' (Dec 5). The article mentioned Thye Hua Kwan Moral Society. Kindly allow us to clarify our position.

Thye Hua Kwan Moral Society provides a holistic range of services to meet the needs of Singaporeans. Indeed, our welfare homes and centres have been serving people in need for the past 30 years - regardless of their ethnicity, religion or class.

We are happy that people from diverse cultural and religious backgrounds feel comfortable using our services.

Thye Hua Kwan Moral Society values and respects every individual. We aim to provide culturally-sensitive services that respect our clients' values and beliefs. For instance, our meal services for the needy include food prepared in accordance with the strictest religious requirements, depending on clients' needs. Our counselling services aim to help clients find solutions that best fit their situations. Our staff come from different countries, creeds, language groups, race and religions.

Thye Hua Kwan Moral Society seeks to promote social cohesion. All our Centres and Homes observe equally the festivals of Christmas, Hari Raya, Deepavali, Confucius' birthday, Vesak Day and Lao Zi's birthday. Our agencies have also partnered with other organisations, servicing different ethnic and religious groups. The Society itself has been partnering the Inter-Religious Organisation (which has 10 religious groups as its members) and the four self-help groups - Mendaki, Eurasian Association, Chinese Development Assistance Council and the Singapore Indian Development Association - to organise the annual Inter-Racial Inter Religious Harmony Night since 2004.

We hope this helps explain Thye Hua Kwan Moral Society's position.

Dr Lee Ngak Siang
Chief Executive Officer
Thye Hua Kwan Moral Society"

again

2008-12-17T05:47:00.001-08:00

I know I've said this before but I'm gonna say this again: Governments are the biggest terrorists; terrorism is beyond the singular act of terror; terrorism is that memory of that singular act of terror and that lingering possibility of its recurrence. Governments make this memory and this possibility very real and concrete by their omnipresent security measures, which are ultimately useless in what they are supposed to do.

-

For those who are wagering, here is the revised list of the likely ways I'm gonna die, in decreased order of likeliness:

1. Shot to death by airport security
2. heart giving way
3. Shot to death in the midst of a killing spree

I totally cannot understand the airport liquids policy. It's obviously a knee jerk reaction after some terrorist brought some combustible liquids onto the plane but what good does it actually serve?

Let's see. So the rule is you can't bring liquids in those big opaque containers which shampoos and what nots generally come in: all your liquids have to be packed in a clear plastic bag and in bottles not more than 100 ml each and not totaling 1 litres or something like that.

From personal experience, it's totally not ok to bring a bottle of branded shampoo in but you can take the shampoo back out, empty all its contents into transparent containers conveniently available cheaply at the stores outside, and whiz right past security.

So what if you can see the liquid? Do the security guards have bionic stoichometric eyes that can tell that the whitish milkish liquid is liuid sarin? I suppose you should ban all liquids. Oneday some terrorist dude is gonna invent combustible blood and I'd love to see what security measures we are gonna take.

-

Closer to home, we have our ever-vigilant MRT security, either the omnipresent middle-aged uncles/aunties stationed after the gates on the Concourse, or our very dependable SWAT-ish cops making their rounds around the station and on the train.

Of course those SWAT-ish cops are different from those that let Mas Selamat go, nor were they involved in any of the recent escapes. Very dependable and reliable people. They travel in teams of 4 and walk around MRT stations carrying their really mean looking guns, watching and watching. Each MRT station must be about 3-4 football fields big, and they open for like at least 16 hours a day. I know I can count on them to keep me safe at every square inch of the station, all 16 hours of the day, or at least when they start work, which is generally after morning peak hours because we all know that terrorists work 9 to 5.

The auntie/uncle security guards are even braver. I'm not sure what they could do if I actually turned violent and a couple of them acknowledged that to me too but yet they hold their ground. And they really hold their ground. The entire MRT concourse must be at least 100 metres across and I'm sure everyone that passes by the gates is profiled and screened, and not just the unfortunate few that happen to walk infront of them. And they have bionic eyes too! I carry really big bags and within my bag is usually always another bag and I've been checked a few times and I always marvel how someone can open my bag, see another bag and decide that it's not a bomb. Genius.

Where do we find all these people I wonder? Probably from the same places our ministers crawled out from.

all i ask of you

2008-12-05T04:06:00.001-08:00

sigh

2008-11-30T04:38:00.001-08:00

Perfectest wedding vow. Ever.

my god

2008-11-25T01:38:00.001-08:00

So I was approached by some Christian missionary dude. Maybe he thinks I need some God in my Godless life but most likely he must have been really that desperate to approach a Godless One as me. He did have a new approach though: he presented the God of that Holy Trinity — the Father, the Son, and the paraclete as the God the Mother for did the Holy Bible not say that God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, ...' So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them" (Genesis 1:26-27). Is it also not said, in the Old Testament in hebrew, that God is Elohim, or Gods.

All I see in Elohim is a big 'Hello Him'. It's a refreshing new trick these missionary types are doing: gender-typing their messages; probably the females will get the God the Father message although personally I prefer that too. God can be a frickin unicorn, I wouldn't be blerdy interested [only slightly].

I do have an issue with the Church though; the House of God wallows in abject luxury while the People of God get to indulge in the glow of poverty. Good one there.

So I just wanted to move on politely and not hurt anyone's feelings so I nicely told the guy I believed in Science and that blerdy nutmeg have the cheek to say 'do you noe that alot of scientists are now turning to God?'. No I did not know that, and I don't really care.

I know maybe in religion, you believe whatever your pastor/priest/church/monk/PAP MP tells you. Believing whatever a scientist says is not Science just because a supposed person of Science is involved. Believing what anyone tells you after evaluation of what has been said: that is Science. Science is really the religion of experiencing something and then expanding this experience to possibly probably stand for something else. Alot of people hold Science strictly to the empirical senses but I give myself more leeway, as long as it's an experience, emprical or otherworldly, discrete or intangible, then it's an experience and I'm gonna believe in it probably-ly until the next best experience/evidence comes along. In short, the only way I'd believe in God is a cold day in Hell and I'm there without my winter wear or God is screaming at my face and hurling megawattic thunderbolts of doom or LKY and his clan drop dead suddenly. [God, if you're listening, personally I prefer the third one.]

gotta be somebody - nickelback

2008-11-17T05:51:00.001-08:00

So true [to me, at least].

noise

2008-11-09T16:20:00.001-08:00

world of pain

2008-11-06T17:10:00.000-08:00

This is the life.

I have a paper at 10 and I am at the gym now doing some general chest
work.

It's abit weird. I'm walking around the gym carrying a thick stack of
notes and alternating between reading them and the weights but it's
not too bad cuz there's only 3 other ppl at the moment: one guy who's
jus loitering around and one auntie with her personal trainer.

Was at the gym yesterday too, for combat and another class called
sculpt abs. Sculpt abs ytd was a whole new world of pain: in the first
14 minutes of warm up, I sweated more than I did for the preceding hr
of combat. The class is called sculpt abs but you only actually do the
abs in the last 15 mins. The rest of the time is spent moving all your
body parts at once. With weights. On a board.

Recently my gym was bought over by another not so reputable place and
already you can see the beginnings of a class action suit. They are
turning all the floor in all the branches to a hideous purple, their
corporate colour apparently. There's less machines, and more people.
They upped their membership consultants to 800%; I already am a member
and I was approached twice, once when I was leaving the gym. Duhz.

The gym used to be my happy place, this place I can go to and leave
all my free radical thoughts and issues at the door. And I hope it
stays this way.

work ethic

2008-11-05T01:40:00.000-08:00

Ok, am typing this on the iPhone so you will forgive the typos and the
general prissiness.

Today's the second day since I was kinda sacked and I am still kinda
pissed. General summary: tendered at the start of last mth, the
director spoke to us a week later and promised a whole slew of changes
to better help our clients, none of them happened in the days to come
and maybe I got kinda exceedingly rambunctious about it, on Thursday I
was informed they would be honoring the letter, making my last day
Friday. Effectively I was blind sided and told it's for the best.
Technically it wasn't a sack: I'm told it's a 'small industry' and my
career is still fledgling. I'd rather they sack me though, at least
I'd get some compensation and my conscience is clear; small industry
or not, a black mark by this org counts for nothing. They had the gall
to ask if I wanted a testimonial. Any number of my clients would be
glad to write a testimonial for me(if they were literate) and I could
not be more honored. Clients are always the most important not because
of awards or recgonition but because you have chosen to be in this
industry, that's the least you can do. And this is not something I can
say about the org.

I am rising above. On Monday I stayed the whole day to finish some
paperwork, which couldn't be finished in such short notice despite
snide comments from the manager like 'have I found a job yet?'(I dun
have any brothers who run any coy so no) and we're all fated to get
together( yeah very tragic karma at work) and so forth. And despite
asking if I would come back to visit, I learnt there are explicit
instructions diseminated to my ex colleagues that I have no right to
be in the office. I am rising above.

it runs in the family

2008-10-25T11:01:00.001-07:00

Founding father of Singapore, our first Prime Minister, revered Minister Mentor and now professor in Genetics explains:

“That is the way the world is. I have explained this. I think I lost votes after I explained the awful truth. Nobody believed it, but slowly it dawned on them – especially the graduates – that yes, you marry a non-graduate, then you worry about whether or not your son or daughter is going to make it to the university!”

Paraphrasing,

Graduate + Graduate = Graduate
Graduate + Non-Graduate = Poly Grad
Non-Graduate + Non-Graduate = CDC client

Graduate + Graduate + Non-Graduate = ??

Of course the old guy knows what he's talking about. Prime ministering runs in the family.

pregnant

2008-10-14T08:18:00.001-07:00

where being right is wrong

2008-10-04T06:36:00.001-07:00

The other day I was at Clarke Quay there were this lovely string trio [?], in both looks and skills, performing to an oblivious audience, performing in spite of an oblivious audience, bravely soldiering on. The show must go on I suppose.

-

So I had a letter published in the ST today [big big somemore]:

NCSS should focus more on its clients

I REFER to Ms Ang Bee Lian's letter 'Govt benchmarking social workers' pay' on Sept 26.
I have been a social worker for almost two years. While I am not seeing the kind of salary that Ms Ang refers to, I acknowledge that there has been some positive movement in that regard.

However, I feel that the National Council of Social Service (NCSS) can do more for the people.

The biggest issue is the structural way NCSS divides the services of a population within distinct demographical categories, like age or physical condition. Each group is further divided into specific needs and services, like home nursing, meals delivery, family counselling and so on. Such a model is not comprehensive, as considering how diverse people are, there inadvertently will be needs an individual faces that existing formal services do not provide.

A corollary for such a framework is that social service organisations are set up around these services that NCSS has earmarked due to the funding. This inadvertently results in agencies becoming very specific and not going beyond a certain duty to fill up any possible service loophole, either because they lack the resources or, for whatever other reasons, because it is not 'in the service guideline'. While specificity often leads to specialisation and efficiency, the precursor is economies of scale, which most social service agencies are unable to achieve.

A third offshoot is a duplication of assessment that results from a client being referred from one agency to another. Each agency requires its own separate assessment. While a specific service will assess a client differently, there are common facets like financial and background information that can be better shared. For example, multiple financial testing requires multiple collection of financial documents from the client and the family.

While NCSS has gone some way to supporting social workers, I feel we can be better supported by focusing on the clients.

Chen Lingshen

As with all things online, there will always be idiots and as of now, here's the only idiotic comment:

I think the writer, being a rookie, does not understand how the sector works.

Such embarrassment, hearing these comments from these young social workers who are passionate but don't go deeper into what they see or hear on the surface.

My next question to these rookies are: so what are you going to do to facilitate change in your position?

The idiocy of this idiot screams so loudly I don't think I even need to speak for him.

Edit. Apparently someone replied that idiot:

what embarrassment about these comments? quite sensible perceptive observations made by Chen Lingshen.

(1)"the National Council of Social Service (NCSS) can do more for the people"
nothing embarrassing about this fact.

(2)"the structural way NCSS divides the services...inadvertently will be needs an individual faces that existing formal services do not provide". correct again. such rigid divisions means this is not in my service guideline, not my area, so results in multiple referrals which hamper the efficiency of the system.

(3) clients `referred from one agency to another. Each agency requires its own separate assessment' - waste of resources and hassle for people requiring fast help.
Rookies? - better than fossilised veterans who are moulded to the old rigid inflexible system. we need more such refrshing views.

I'm embarrassed actually; he says it much better than i could ever hope to.

-

On a relatively unrelated note,

The general consensus is that the letter was 'very well written', that I was very brave to have written it. My bosses were livid. [Edit. I have since been cleared cuz I didn't mention the company name] Tomorrow, all these will be forgotten until NCSS replies, which will go along these lines: they'll denounce me as a wet behind the ears rookie, full of passion but ultimately myopic and misguided, list down their accomplishments probably in terms of how many people have benefitted from their services and the high percentage of positive evaluations, and mention how NCSS strives to keep ahead and relevant and pretend it never happened.

I'm not actually say anything new or brilliant, or made up; these are things everyone has been saying but not to NCSS, or they're not listening, or something. [Edit. I've just been informed that Case Management communicates with NCSS directly and they're able to implement changes every 3 months. Power to Case Management I say; You can be a Case Management too if you're above 60, lack social support and have one chronic medical condition]. I'm just saying what alot of people are saying but not saying to NCSS. Which is what irks. Things didn't just suddenly become like that overnight; it should have taken a hell lot of indifference for things to become what they are today.

Abit of clarification: NCSS doesn't actually provide the service or set up the agencies that do; what they do is demarcate the specific services by deciding what gets funding and what not, divide it into geographic regions and you kinda tender for it; you're free to set up your own agency providing any service you want but obviously why do something for free when funding is just a soul's sale away. You get this nice groovy service manual to follow and are required to submit stats every once in awhile purporting to the efficacy of your service but actually meaning nothing; you also have to provide any other stats, colour coded in technicolour, that the great powers at NCSS needs to set policy. I must have missed the fine print somewhere because you are also required to get your comments and observations ignored and you can't speak to someone higher ranked [at NCSS] than you directly. [I don't know where this notion of rank came about actually: technically the politicians appoint the civil servants and the power of politicians comes from the people; therefore politicians are the lowest ranked and therefore civil servants, and psuedo civil servants aren't that far off too?]

Years ago, I attended a meeting where the SINDA-FSC director was present. He was rather quite disdainful of education and prided himself on his years of experience. He was particularly proud of his 'experienced' corp of volunteers in this service implemented, boasting that they were able to make thorough and complete assessments with just an hour. How this is related to the current mess I don't know but I just think that experience or education, neither one is more important than the other. You need a theoretical basis as a guide how to proceed; yet a guide will never cover every possible situation that you will encounter. Experience and education to me are just the same facets of probably-knowing something; I say probably-knowing because I don't think we can really ever know anything [and even this I don't know for sure]. I think the day I do know anything for sure is the day life ends.

Yet another common comment is so 'why am I not doing anything about it' or 'what solution do i have to offer'. I don't know? I wrote a letter didn't I? And I did give up the pursuit of a discipline [psychology] that I am thoroughly in love with for one [medicine/genetics] that is no doubt just as exciting but with a much longer, more uncertain and onerous journey because I believe it's for the best. I did design a database to store client records; I spent and am still spending droplets of time I manage to squeeze out from my laden schedule of work and school learning from scratch computer languages like MYSQL, PHP and HTML in the hopes that I can bridge at least a few services together. My system is not perfect, but it will be eventually. I really really would like to think I did and am still trying to do something about it. I actually don't quite understand the logic that when you criticize, you must have an answer. Afterall, I'm not the one that's being paid an obnoxious amount of money here.

But I actually do have an answer, and it doesn't involve raising taxes or implementing surcharges. I suggest, rather than a service-centric model, we should adopt a client or geography-centric model: that is a social worker is assigned to an area, and the entire gamut of needs of persons in that area is the responsibility of that social worker [TM]. When the social worker feels that the client requires services that the social worker is unable to render, he/she can refer to an organization providing that specific need.

One of the complaints in the social services is there's not enough resources, which is actually the same complaint in every other industry. I don't think there's not enough resources; it's just that everyone, every organization, every industry demands their own set of resources. I call this the Food Court Rice Theory [TM]. When I go to the food court near closing time, there's alot of stores who have run out of rice and have to close for the day yet there are also many other stores who still have lots of rice left. Or or or how mornings, the roads are practically jammed but if you look inside each car, you'll see there's most likely only one, at most two persons in each car that sits five people. Or you see the roads going towards the city is clogged yet the roads coming from the city is empty. Or you can never get a taxi when you need one yet taxi drivers spend a good part of their jobs waiting at taxi stands. Obviously resources are not being used all that well. And coming from my Food Court Rice Theory is the final piece of my solution: where possible, the social services should not set up a specialized service but utilize existing commercial sources [TM]. Why do we have to send food all the way from Henderson to Beach Road when there's so many eateries littering the area? Why can't we use taxi drivers who are free to send clients for medical appointments? Of course, my idealism requires alot of micro planning, coordination, and a quid of human kindness and initiative, which is the bit where it will all come apart.

-

Actually I don't know I struggle so much for what. If I just shut up and do my job, receive my [relatively] obnoxious pay, spend my pay, and live happily ever after, I would be living happily ever after instead of this mess I'm in: feeling pissed, feeling pissed that I'm pissed, career's in limbo, all plans derailed. Nothing's gonna change, moone else cares, and it doesn't matter that I care, and noone cares that I care.

-

I kinda think at the end of the day ideals are important. Sure, they don't put food on the table, and power to you if your ideal happens to be the same as putting food on the table, but ideals, even if you never meet them, make you you.

jbj

2008-10-04T06:20:00.001-07:00

Crappiest crap:

"
CONDOLENCE LETTER FROM PRIME MINISTER LEE HSIEN LOONG ON DEMISE OF JB JEYARETNAM
30 September 2008
Mr Kenneth Jeyaretnam
Mr Philip Jeyaretnam

Dear Kenneth and Philip Jeyaretnam
I was sad to learn that your father, Mr Joshua Benjamin Jeyaretnam, has passed away.
Mr JB Jeyaretnam was a Member of Parliament for Anson constituency from 1981 till 1986, and a Non-Constituency Member of Parliament from 1997 till 2001. He used to engage in heated debates in the House. Perhaps it was because he and the PAP never saw eye to eye on any major political issue and he sought by all means to demolish the PAP and our system of government. Unfortunately, this helped neither to build up a constructive opposition nor our Parliamentary tradition. Nevertheless, one had to respect Mr JB Jeyaretnam’s dogged tenacity to be active in politics at his age.

However, our differences were not personal. In 1993, one of you (Kenneth) wrote to Mr Goh Chok Tong, who was then Prime Minister, to say that you found employers in Singapore reluctant to offer you a job, and your only explanation was that the employers felt the authorities would not welcome your employment because of your name. Mr Goh replied with a letter which could be shown to prospective employers, to say that the government did not hold anything against you, and that employers should evaluate you fairly on your own merits, like any other candidate, because Singapore needed every talented person that it could find. Mr Goh had previously made the same point to your brother Philip, whom he had invited to lunch. I am therefore happy that both of you have established yourselves in Singapore.
Please accept my deepest condolences.

Yours sincerely
Lee Hsien Loong
"

Obnoxious main points in the letter:

1. the PAP is always right.
2. Good riddance, loser.
3. Kenneth and Philip, you are not like their father. Keep it up.

-

Wah, our president is even more power:

I suddenly very proud he is social work trained lor. In 2 sentences, he can draw more blood than other people's 2 paragraphs. Who knew the old guy had it in him?

ebook reader

2008-09-22T20:18:00.001-07:00

Uber cool ebook reader [it's the thinnest one on the top].

Yar, obviously I want one too.

[Yes, although I quite like the smell and feel of physical books, I quite prefer my shoulders not giving way from carrying like 2000 books plus the laptop.]

new camera

2008-09-22T08:50:00.001-07:00

The Olympus Micro four-thirds digital SLR.

Uber hotness. I want one!

david foster wallace [1962-2008]

2008-09-17T18:41:00.001-07:00

Everyone is saying he's such a fucking brilliant writer, and I think so too. I only ever read one of his books, but I am making that up as of yesterday [borrowed 2 of his books from the library].

Anyways, I came across this commencement speech he made a few years back, and not only is it very well given, I totally agree with his interpretation of the purpose of an arts education [which is not about helicopter views btw].

The whole speech is damn brilliant and everyone should read it, but the bit that struck me most:

As I'm sure you guys know by now, it is extremely difficult to stay alert and attentive, instead of getting hypnotized by the constant monologue inside your own head (may be happening right now). Twenty years after my own graduation, I have come gradually to understand that the liberal arts cliché about teaching you how to think is actually shorthand for a much deeper, more serious idea: learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience. Because if you cannot exercise this kind of choice in adult life, you will be totally hosed. Think of the old cliché about quote the mind being an excellent servant but a terrible master.

This, like many clichés, so lame and unexciting on the surface, actually expresses a great and terrible truth. It is not the least bit coincidental that adults who commit suicide with firearms almost always shoot themselves in: the head. They shoot the terrible master. And the truth is that most of these suicides are actually dead long before they pull the trigger.

and this:

This, I submit, is the freedom of a real education, of learning how to be well-adjusted. You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn't. You get to decide what to worship.

Because here's something else that's weird but true: in the day-to day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship -- be it JC or Allah, bet it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles -- is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It's the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you. On one level, we all know this stuff already. It's been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, epigrams, parables; the skeleton of every great story. The whole trick is keeping the truth up front in daily consciousness.

Morbid stuff. But so true.

betrayed

2008-09-10T08:04:00.001-07:00

My manager:

Dear Mr Anjan Ghosh,

My sincere apologies for the misunderstanding that arose from the previous
email.

The email was sent to you without authority or consultation from either Mr
Lee or me. I fully understand the need for additional data by MCYS or NCSS,
and we will gladly provide the information as requested.

I will compile and submit the data before the submission deadline.

Once again, I apologise for the misunderstanding, and seek to continue the
cooperation and partnership between MCYS, NCSS and Home Help Service
(West).

-

Reply:

Dear Ms Lee,

Thank you for clarifying, we had similar impression too. We have great working relationship with THKMS and I look forward towards continuous support and mutual understanding as we help the needy and disadvantage population.

Regards
Anjan K GHOSH | Director
Service Management Division | National Council of Social Service
170 Ghim Moh Road #01-02 S 279621 · DID: 62102622 · Fax: 64624608 · http://www.ncss.org.sg/

-

Mutual masturbation at its best. Disgusting.

censorship

2008-09-09T23:59:00.001-07:00

I actually drafted this in reply to the previous email, but Wendy says the tone not only burns bridges, it decimates the surrounding area and renders it uninhabitable. Without further ado, my drafted reply to Anjash:

"
To note: '...if the statements made in the email is...', 'is' should be replace with 'are' as the subject preceding it is plural.

I'm also not sure about the point you are making about Mr Lee concurring with you. Is he concurring because he has seen the research questions or is he concurring because of the prior funding agreement? So as per the funding agreement, if NCSS requires the number of left handed clients with one pimple on the right cheek, we are required to give that to you? I'm not sure about you, but usually in my arguments, I like to use logic and science.

Allow me one nuance of fallacy: despite my learnings and qualifications in mass communications, social work, psychology, sociology and philosophy, I fail to see the point of these and previous and current stats NCSS requires of us. Perhaps you can enlighten my feeble mind?

Lastly, I want to add that meeting after meeting, networking session after session, various Home Help providers have voiced out the same opinions after observations, some rather passionately, and each time, their voices are ignored and nothing has changed. The stats we have contributed over the time all seems to meet the same fate. Is that in the funding agreement too?

"

the empire strikes back

2008-09-09T21:56:00.001-07:00

Dear Lingshen,

I wonder if you have consulted Ms Lee or Mr Lee before replying to NCSS. I also wonder if the statements made in the email is your personal view or that of Moral Home Help (West).

We have spoken to Mr Lee and he concurred with the need for such data to be made available to assist in the review of Home Help Service. We would also like to highlight that the funding agreement requires all service provider to provide additional information beyond PES, where necessary for service review and planning purposes.

My colleague Peng Peng will be of help if you need any further clarification.

Thank you
Anjan K GHOSH | Director

Service Management Division | National Council of Social Service
170 Ghim Moh Road #01-02 S 279621 · DID: 62102622 · Fax: 64624608 · http://www.ncss.org.sg/
Privileged/Confidential information may be contained in this message. If you are not the intended recipient, please notify the sender immediately

resigned

2008-09-09T20:14:00.001-07:00

Dear Ms Lee

I hereby tender my resignation and give 2 months notice with effect from Sep 11 2008.

In recent months, I have been finding my position increasingly untenable.

I have not been making a difference in anyone's life, other than NCSS/MCYS, and their course, I feel, often sprints the other direction from serving mankind.

I also feel that in its current structure and organization, Moral Home Help West is not fully appreciating and developing my skills.

I have come to this decision with a very heavy heart. I am very grateful for the patience and understanding you have shown me, and I know that I have been a rather difficult subordinate to manage.

I wish you and Moral Home Help West all the best in years to come and I regret that I will not be part of this.

ls last stand

2008-09-09T18:34:00.001-07:00

Dear Peng peng

We thank you for graciously getting an extension of the deadline for us.

However, Home Help West will not be providing that figures you need this time around.

We cannot continuously provide you with the incessant and unnecessary stats that you and your organization needs.

We can however, provide you with our database and you can sieve through it for the stats that you need.

Cheers

Lingshen Chen
Moral Home Help West

PS. When you mention Home Help's comsumption patterns and direction, I believe all the various Home Help organizations have been making very excellent points and suggestions, seeing how they are on the ground much more than NCSS or MCYS combined.

eat shit

2008-09-09T18:17:00.001-07:00

From: TANG_Peng_Peng@ncss.gov.sg

Dear Home Help Service Providers

As part of the Eldercare Masterplan Review conducted by Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS), the Ministry is currently reviewing the Home Help Service (HHS).

MCYS has requested for data on the consumption patterns of HHS clients in FY07/08 (1 Apr 07 - 31 Mar 08). This data is not part of the PES data that NCSS has requested you to track and monitor. Hence, we understand that it would be tedious for you to gather the information. We have requested MCYS to give a duration of 2 weeks for you to provide the information. We seek your assistance to provide the information as it would ultimately help to chart the future directions of Home Help Service.

A) Information Required
There are 2 areas:
1) Overview of the Consumption Pattern - How many clients are using 1/2/3/4/5 HHS service components
2) Breakdown of Consumption Patterns - Number of clients who are using the follow service combination(s)/ type:

Meals + Escort + Housekeeping
Meals + Escort
Meals + Housekeeping
Housekeeping + Escort
Meals only
Escort only
Housekeeping only
Personal Care Hygiene only
Laundry only

Impt: There should be NO duplication of client across the various categories.

Pls use the template below to submit the information:

B) Suggested Steps and Pointers
List out the clients the agency had served as at 1 Apr 2007, note down the service component(s) that they had utilised
Add in the new clients who joined the service and had activated the service(s) over the next 11 months (ie: May 07 - Mar 08). We are not looking at clients who had only been registered, they must have used the service in FY07/08.
Even if the client had only used a particular service once in the FY, pls count the person in
Pls include closed cases whom you have served during the FY

Here is a suggested template for those of you who may need one:
Fill up the template, put "1" under the service component(s) that had been utilised by individual client
Eg (1): To find out the number of clients who uses "meals + escort", click "1" on the drop-down arrow for "meals" and "escort", click "blank" for the rest of the services. You would then get the name of clients who use these 2 services, do an auto-sum on the number of clients.
Eg (2): To find out the number of clients who use 1/2/3/4/5 HHS service component(s), click "1/2/3/4/5" on the drop-down arrow for "Total no. of services"

We would require the information latest by Wednesday, 24 Sept 08.

Regards
TANG Peng Peng (Ms) | Service Management Manager | Eldercare Services
Service Management Division | National Council of Social Service
170 Ghim Moh Road #01-02 S 279621 · DID: 6210 2453 · Fax: 6462 4609 · www.ncss.org.sg

oh what fun

2008-09-09T17:46:00.001-07:00

So this morning Apple released yet more new iPod products: a blah iPod Nano that looks like a zune, brighter iPod shuffles, and a new uber-cool iPod Touch which is even thinner than its already very thin predecessor and comes with all the goodness of the apps store and even a built in Nike running sensor. My resolve not to buy the iPhone momentarily weakened and once again I was engulfed by all those alluring demons of desire. I think not even Plato would have withstood such temptations but I have since momentarily suppressed it with the demon of 'everyone who has an iphone 3G looks like they need one to look human'.

iTunes 8 also came out. Besides a layout which I think is improved, despite not having explored it much [note: everything Apple does is an improvement; everything Microsoft does is something they should have/could have did the first time round], the newest feature is the Genius feature. What the Genius does is you choose a song in your library, and the Genus creates a playlist of songs that are similar to the choosen song. Cool shit.

Apparently since I heard it on Prince Caspian, the song sung at the end [the calling by regina spektor] seems to have become popular. Geniusing that, better matches included 'Say it's possible' by Terra Naomi, 'When she loved me' by Sarah McLachlan and 'The Heart never lies' by McFly. Strangely, also included 'Hips don't lie' by Shakira, and really dubiously, 'We're going to ibiza'. Not cool.

I did Kit Chan's Home and I ended up with believable matches like 'To build a home', Kaira Gong's 'My Island Home' and very weirdly, my podcasts on homeostasis on the digestion & nutrition, circulation, respiration, the immune, and osmoregulation systems.

I tried Majulah Singapura [don't ask] next and I got interesting matches like the Darth Vader Imperial march, 'Beyond the wasteland' from Final Fantasy and very fittingly, 'The Plagues' from the Prince of Egypt. I like the new iTunes already.

chronicles of narnia: prince caspian

2008-09-06T12:07:00.001-07:00

Yah, I know the dvd has already been released, but it's only on the SQ flight yesterday that I managed to catch The Chronicles of Narnia, Prince Caspian, or otherwise known as 'that darn lion saves the day again', which is supremely ironic given the premise of the whole show hinges on that darn lion refusing to save the day in the first place like he did in the first movie, or as he himself so succinctly puts it, twice in fact, that 'nothing ever happens twice'.

The movie is alot like Growing Pains meet The Lord of the Ring. Besides the requisite epic battles, which are rendered quite competently, although a tad too much in the flavour of the good guys, there's also the other requisite items: i.e.

Mean melee arrow using dude, usually lanky and feminish [i.e. Legolas]. Check.
Cute small little furry creature who's really deadly [Shrek 3]. Check.
Marauding treefolk [Ents]. Check.
A variation of Gandalf's 'You shalt not pass' scene. Check.
Rushing river slamming onto enemy troops. Check.

And the list goes on.

While the Lord of the Ring had the suicidal wisdom of Gandalf, the anguished valour of Aragon, the boorish chivalry of Gimli or the reluctant responsibility of Frodo as centre pieces, what we get in this movie is teenage angst, just as suicidal, or anguished or boorish or reluctant, but teenage angst nonetheless; rebellion immature adolescence deciding the fate of thousands and thousands amidst the intricacies of acne, identity confusion, crushes, sibling rivalry, and fatherly acceptance [from the lion].

The movie ends like your typical secondary school essay; like it's all a dream and everything's back to square one and nothing really happens, which is really crappy when used in the essays, but actually meaningful and believable coming at the end of the mindless slugfest.

In the end you realize the movie is about letting go: as tempting as integral as something is to you, it's not you and you have to let it go and stop doing silly silly things.

I have to let go too.

2008-09-03T20:57:00.001-07:00

Guru Pitka says:

Why do you hurt yourself?

Why are you still hurting yourself?

the love guru

2008-09-01T21:52:00.001-07:00

damn :)

new round of mac ads

2008-08-29T17:45:00.001-07:00

Called the M1 tech support yesterday and was berated by him for trashing the program folder in Vista to remove the program ['how can you do that? do you know you can't do that?!!!]. Not my fault the program didn't show in the applications list, the uninstaller doesn't work and plus us mac users have been dragging programs off to the trash to uninstall programs for like I don't know, since the mac was born?

Here's Apple's latest round of mac ads, to quell the rage in me:

Throne:

Off the air:

Note that I don't think the apple stores here do the 'transfer your files for free' thingy mentioned in the ads since they are just shitty apple franchisees who can't make it selling windows stuff although you can try the Mac Shop at Funan; they have very nice people there who actually knows their mac [not the apple store].

Pizza box:

Calming teas:

wad the hell 2

2008-08-28T08:57:00.001-07:00

It's actually kinda fun when for once, the object of complaint is not me:

From the ST online forum:

MY MOTHER lives in Block 31 Toa Payoh East in a flat meant for senior citizens under the administration of the Thye Hua Kwan welfare organisation. I understand caretakers posted to the centre on the ground floor are meant to ensure the welfare and safety of the elderly residents, as well as distribute public donations fairly to those in need, but I regret this superior care is not what my mother has experienced.

First, on the issue of welfare. On one occasion, a drunken stranger parked himself right outside my mother's door. She asked management to call the police, but they insisted she settle the matter herself and insisted she went back up to use her own phone. While it was eventually resolved, this not the way a charity should function. That is only one of numerous occasions on which the elderly were made to feel neglected. The operator also criticised my mother to her face, in English (which she does not understand), and we found out only later from the maid who understood.

On the issue of donations, I hope resources will be allocated equitably to those in need. However, my mother often tells me donations in kind, such as food, are distributed according to the whim and fancy of the centre's operators, with leftovers discarded, which leads me to wonder if those in need actually get them. Furthermore, my mother has also witnessed the centre throwing away an item of donation, new and unused, in a spurt of temper.

Those are only a few incidents, and isolated ones. Perhaps we should re-examine how charities are run to ensure, if nothing else, the hours our children spend fund-raising do not go to waste.

Hopefully with my rich complaint-rebutting experience, I won't be called upon to rebut this. I'm not very good at arguing; I just always happen to be right. Don't think I can argue this.

what the hell

2008-08-23T07:29:00.001-07:00

Probably I will not be long for this job, and hopefully this world too, so I won't hold back on the names.

Background: When I joined this job more than a year ago, I actually joined Tanjong Pagar FSC. On the first day of work, I was seconded out to where I am currently. I was to learn a good half year later that the TPFSC actually earned money from this arrangement: my salary and CPF contribution came from them, but apparently they charged Home Help that amount plus plus. My Home Help manager said TPFSC claimed the plus plus was for training me; that's a load of bull. I only ever saw the TPFSC boss three times: once because I requested a meeting, the second time when he came to do the exit interview with Odie, and the last time at some Moral event. I have since left TPFSC and come under the payroll of Home Help. The Home Help boss is in charge of many many things other than Home Help, so the other time I have seen him is, once again, at official functions. But all's good until this week.

Some time ago I rejected a client on the grounds that he wasn't very homebound, to put it mildly. The client was referred by Moral Case Management, and the person who did the referral, let's call her SL, wasn't too pleased. She called the office repeatedly to request for a review. Now, usually I'm not in the office, so my colleague handles such calls and queries for me. My stance was clear: at his current functioning, the client is not eligible for home help services and any further assessment would be fruitless. My colleague communicated this to SL all the times that she called. Oneday SL called and demanded a written explanation.

I seethed. But I wrote the letter. And it was polite. And I thought that was the end of it.

But I was wrong. She wrote another letter, requesting for service on the grounds that client has COPD and some other heart conditions. And cc-ed to our boss. I called her to clarify with her, but apparently nothing got through her thick skull. She followed up with the following email to our boss:

"
Dear Boss,

Good morning. I have received a phone call from MSW Ling Shen (Moral Home Help West) at 12.14hrs while i was on home visit yesterday.

Ling Shen claimed that he has repeated many times to me that he has already discharged client Mr XXX and he would not consider opening the case. Reasons being client is not a home bound patient. When i checked with him that how come some cases who are also not home bound could receive the home help service such as escort service but he claimed that he did not know the previous cases as it was approved by other MSW as he only came 1 year ago. For him, he would not accept cases that are not approved by him. I requested him to consider escort services in view of client's medical condition but Ling Shen claimed that he would only consider re-opening the case if i could provide him with medical report and proved that client's condition has deteriorated. I have requested him to tell me the date of his review with client but he refused and said that he has seen him 2 to 3 weeks ago. Lastly, i requested Ling Shen to reply me with a letter again on the reasons but he claimed that he did not have such practice all along and also did not have the habit of reply since he has done once previously.

I have called the client later and client claimed that he had asked his friend to help him buy food sometimes and he could manage his laundry so far.

Please advice me on the whether i should refer client to home medical and home nursing services since the escort service from Moral Home Help West has been rejected?
"

-

The boss emailed me and my manager asking for an explanation so it's obvious whose side he's on. My manager is the easily ruffled sort so she decided to just offer the client our escort services anyway. I went down to see him, and here's my email reply:

"
1. Client was initially rejected because he was not homebound; Client himself mentions that he is always running around. I understand that he has a whole litany of heart problems; however, these are simply medical labels that say nothing about functional status.

2. Out of goodwill, I was instructed by my manager to offer him our escort services. That I did, but client was not home. I called him and learnt from him that he was at Potong Pasir, and he indicated that he did not need our services.

3. My manager has also called him this morning to offer him our food and escort services. Client rejected them as he indicated that our food usually comes at around 1 pm and he can't wait so long as he has to go out. He also indicated that he has a direct bus he can take from his home to the hospital.

4. I stand by my assessment. I am actually bewildered why client is even a candidate for home services.

5. With regards to written exposes detailing rejection, I hope you can understand that it is not practical or logical for me to have to answer to every rejection. I see so many clients every week it's hardly enough for me to catch my breath. Rejection is always hard for me, and already I am very liberal in my interpretation of home boundness, so you can be assured that rejections are not made wantonly.

6. With regards to approval, all cases need to be approved by me to be accepted into the service as I am the only social worker here. SL mentions a discrepancy where certain clients that seems to match disputed client's status were accepted into the service while Mr XXX was not. Indeed, those clients were assessed and approved by me, and I apologize for that, as I was lax in my assessment.

I wish to assure you and SL and the Moral Case Management team that I shall strive to be more rigid and stringent in my assessments.

Sincerely
Lingshen Chen

[addendum]
1. If SL would read the letter carefully, it states 'repeated numerously', which in no way implies I spoke to SL directly. What it does imply is my stand was made clear to her quite a few times.

2. I would also like to clarify if I have the right to reject clients.
"

-

Summary: Someone made a lousy referral, and was not willing to accept the subsequent and expected outcome which is actually kinda disrespectful to me, expects me to play by her mangly rules, and kicks up a ruckus about it.

sad song

2008-08-12T07:32:00.001-07:00

back from manila

2008-08-11T07:14:00.000-07:00

Back from the Philippines, as the title implies. Will post more tomorrow as it is late and it seems that my eyesight deteoriates with the time of the day.

Nothing against the Philippines, but I am utterly and really disgusted in myself for going there.

It's like you can be educated lots which means you are supposedly intelligent and you still do silly silly things, silly self destructive things, and seeking the thrill of the solace from the brief occasional respite of repeated head-bangings. Blerdy stoopid fool.

the littlest birds sing the prettiest songs

2008-07-18T11:34:00.000-07:00

I recently heard this song and I only listen to this song now.

A quick aside. One of the comments says

The littlest birds do sing the prettiest songs, as they are small they have to sing pretty songs to attract mates!

Not sure what that means. Is the guy saying small birds need to sing nice nice to attract mates from say big birds? Like maybe finches are in direct competition with eagles? I like eagles btw.

sex education

2008-07-17T11:08:00.000-07:00

I lost count of all the euphemisms for the 'raised scepter of love' Uncle Andy used.

PS. This is the first time I've seen the banana trick.

PPS. The above scene was from Weeds, which is a great show, which means you'll never ever see it in Singapore.

little boxes

2008-07-06T20:27:00.000-07:00

Little boxes on the hillside
Little boxes made of ticky tacky
Little boxes, little boxes
Little boxes all the same

There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same

And the people in the houses all went to the university
Where they all were put in boxes, little boxes all the same
And there's doctors and there's lawyers and business executives
And they're all made out of ticky tacky and they all look just the same

And they all play on the golf course and drink their martini dry
And they all have pretty children and the children go to school
And the children go to summer camp and then to the university
Where they all got put in boxes, and they all came out the same

And the boys go into business and marry and raise a family
In boxes, little boxes, little boxes all the same
There's a green one, and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same

LS' news in brief

2008-06-26T07:06:00.000-07:00

MM Lee says one freak election results and 5 years is all it takes to ruin Singapore.

He worries needlessly seriously. We survived 40 years of his PAP's rule, we can survive 500 years of anything, even a worst case scenario where we orang utans become our ministers and they plan policy by deciphering the way thrown banana peels land on the floor which introspect may actually be a better form of government than what we are having now. At the very least, bananas are cheap.

-

After the guy passed through at least 3 rounds of passport checks with his son's passport at the Budget Terminal, the latest precaution is to have a guy stationed beside every automated clearing machine.

I would think since the automated clearing machine was the only one that did his job on that fateful day, the extra guy should be stationed beside the checkpoints people instead.

Or use orang utans.

-

MOH to probe possible lapses in living donor transplant programme

My money's on Yes.

-

S$2.8m Active Ageing Centre to be built at Ang Mo Kio

Rumor has it it will be built on the Dragon's Vein which will harness the energy there and distribute it around the centre via the air-con.

-

MM Lee's wife in critical condition.

Good riddance [although it's the wrong one].

manila: overall impressions

2008-06-19T21:52:00.000-07:00

Generally I get that my travel logs always denigrate into anti-Singaporean expressionism. I promise I'll keep that in, right after I bash Tiger Airways.

Lousy, deceptive, fradulent airline that sent me to Manila (Clark), which is 2 hours away by hot bumpy bus ride from Manila, and which the locals don't consider to be part of Manila. I know, I know, buyer beware, but when you go to some airline webby and choose Singapore to Manila, you really expect them to take you to Manila, that Manila (Clark) is part of Manila. I know I know, I should have done some research, but I'm complacent, as is the trend here: I'm a seasoned traveler afterall, not the sort that carries a Lonely Planet around and reads up on every detail, but the sort that trusts the airline to keep their word, and that for everything else there's Mastercard. I've not even started on the ride experience: I can do hardship, but you cannot separate me and my hand carry bag which is what Tiger did by insisting I put my bag in the stowaway compartment and not block the passage way at the emergency exit. Like, wei? My hand carry bag is literally a handbag the size of my hand. If it blocks anyone at the exit, it means that person is really obese and probably deserves to be blocked. And ok i get that no outside food is allowed on the plane. But you don't have to constantly announce it like we are dogs who deserve no better because we can only afford to fly Tiger [and can't afford your overpriced food]. In any case, if people are still flouting the rules despite your multiple announcements, it's probably because your guy needs to go back to language school. And what's with the spastic announcement: please switch off and keep off all handphones, including those handphones with airplane mode. Why else do we call it airplane mode? In any case, said Tiger staff with language impairment should also learn how to differentiate iPhones with iPod Touches if he wants to enforce the rule.

In any case, this was the nice airport I landed in: DMIA. The temp looking structure with alot of people waiting under is a very permanent waiting area for people waiting to check in. Apparently, DMIA won some airport of the year award last year and rightly so too; all airports should seriously be like this.

Very straightforward. No need to waste time waiting for the plane to berth properly, or for the tunnel thingy to attach itself to the door, or for the feeder bus and the people slowly streaming into it and once in the airport, there's none of the convoluted twisty cavernous labyrinths to actually get to somewhere.

Ok, the truth is I went to Manila for surgery, so most of the time I was confined to my room so I didn't see much, so this post is quite limited.

The people here seems quite friendly though, like naturally from the bottom of the heart friendly. On the strange bus from Clark to Manila, I started appearing all touristy by taking out by map and staring at it. Immediately 2 locals sitting opposite came to my aid and even came me their numbers. After we got off the bus, they helped me get a cab and even told the cab driver not to cheat my money, which he actually totally disregarded, but which a very helpful security guard helped settle. My doctor and his wife brought us to a nice local restaurant where we were pleasantly entertained by a live band with a singer who sounded better than Norah Jones; when she was tired, the waiter filled in for her with a rambunctious song and dance item.

Being a tourist gives us the leeway to look like idiots. Obviously common ones like wearing the ethnic but inappropriate garb and lugging around a mean looking camera I avoid but we end up committing all new ones. Like frantically looking for our seats in the cinema. I never stopped to think 'FS' is a weird way to label your seat numbers, that both stubs had FS. In the end, FS = free seating. Or how not being able to squeeze into the MRT the 3rd train in as many minutes, I noticed the first few cabins were consistently almost empty, so promptly headed for it the fourth time only to feel chilly daggers at me throughout the whole ride. Looking around the cabin I had some weird suspicious something was terribly wrong; checking a rather concealed signboard after getting off confirmed it: the first few cabins were reserved for women, children and elderly folks. If anything, I was ready with the excuse 'we all like the same things'.

So I watched Fillipino TV most of the time. Channel selection was great: so many great movies like Narnia, Mr Bean's Holiday, 21, Mission Impossible, and drama series as well as talk shows. For example, I managed to catch Grey's Anatomy Desperate Housewives and it seems in Manila, they're almost through with latest seasons of both series [season 4]. I think in Singapore, we're still seeing Drs Burke and Addison. They also had some nice cartoons that I've never seen before, like one called the Avatar, about a world made up of common people and people who can command the elements. But 4 days gets boring: I saw Aladdin and Hercules twice, and there was the Kung Fu fighting MTV trailer for Kung Fu Panda that played in between every show. I even turned to Sellavision for long periods of time; it was somewhat refreshing: they sold products that would take you to the ends of the earth and more in the backdrop of very cheesy acting and even cheesier selection of music. For example, they had a drink that would make you grow taller and they interviewed lots of people unhappy about their heights, or this drink that increases your bust size, or this drink that grows hair back to the song 'here now, there now'. And wait, there's always more of course.

The only place we really went to was Glorietta, on the first day pre-op and last day when I snuck out.

It's not so much a shopping centre, but 4 shopping centres joined together in the middle by a vast concourse and interlinked to one another. Like I'm pretty sure you can find everything here; in case you can't, there's 2 departmental stores nearby, one shopping centre at the Shangri-La hotel, and one more series of mega shopping centres just across. We never got to exploring the whole area. What I did find fascinating was this bookstore [what's with bookstore chains and the colour red?]. They had shelves and shelves of medical, nursing, and psychology textbooks just going for $20 SGD. The interesting thing is many of them are printed in Singapore.

And so I want to end my limited exposure to Manila by talking about the food: simply fabulous.

This is hallo-hallo, a simple dessert consisting of yam ice cream on top of yam paste filled with fried fruits and lots of red bean and atapchee. Very nice.

I forgot the fillipino name of this dish but it's simply a big juicy chunk of pork that's deep fried, then you slice off abit and eat it with some savory soy sauce. Besides that there was also kare-kare, which is some fish in peanut stew you eat with prawn sauce and a beef broth dish which I'm rather ashamed at forgetting the name and not taking any pics because it was best dish I had in Manila. At Glorietta we ate at the foodcourt where I had this rice with sotong stuffed with diced vegetables served with pork bits at the side. Another day I had adobo, which is simply meat marinated in some sauce served with rice, brought to me. How do I know I really liked the food in Manila? The Krispy Kreme test - out of the dozen krispy kreme bought on the first day, there were still 3 left at the end of the trip.

It's really quite a pity that I didn't get to see more of Manila. I would have loved to have gone to the university belt, which is a district filled with universities, quite possibly the birthplace of Fillipino excellence. I'm quite sure it wasn't just nationalistic sentiment when my doctor bemoaned the fact that the Phillippines has so much talent but all of it is either not nurtured, or those that are nurtured are taken by other countries. There's also the night life, which judging by the day life, I'm sure would be excellent too. And the Bay Walk. And all the many many offshore islands and their natural wonders.

I think I should have to go back again. And definitely not by Tiger.

general youtubing

2008-06-11T20:55:00.000-07:00

The iPhone really is a wonderous device: for all its supposed flaws and lack of high end tech features everyone else is cramming into their phones these days, it does the one thing it's supposed to do very simply and very nicely: it squeezes in my laptop, iPod and handphone into one device and just works. True, I won't be spreadsheeting or photoshopping or dreamweaving or garagebanding with it, but I can IM, check email, surf the web and even youtube

While I was stuck in Manila recuperating after my surgery, my trusty iPhone saved the day against boredom.

Some notable youtube things I saw:

-

Very cool very hot pair of contestants from this reality show Britain's Got Talent. I'd be darn happy if I can be half as good as them.

-

Manila's got talent too!

This is their take on promoting Kung Fu Panda. shown on local Manila TV after every show. I quite like his rendition of the song. In terms of effectiveness, I risked sepsis and certain reprimanding when I sneaked out of recuperating on the last day to catch the movie. I also bought the soundtrack [limited Manila edition for 350 pesos or $10SGD].

I just saw the Singaporean attempt at promoting the show: Gurmit Singh [yet again] attempting to appear witty as he interviews the voice actors of the show. Singapore's only got gurmit singh? And what's with the Ch 5 is the official channel for Kung Fu Panda. Is there any chance Vasantham Central could be the official channel?

I'm particularly reminded by something my doctor in Manila said: that the Philippines is simply teaming with talent and it's very very sad the government is not able to harness it. As if on cue, the waiter who was serving us broke into a rapacious song and dance item; his performance easily can win any one of our [un]talent shows here.

-

Very catchy lyrics:
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it
And its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit
And it goes by the name of London

At the top of the hole sit a privileged few
Making mock of the vermin in the lower zoo
Turning beauty into filth and greed

I find this stuck in my head and repeating itself quite constantly, with the word 'London' replaced with 'Singapore', usually during morning rush hour, and reaching a climax in a meeting with employees of NCSS [note that I don't see people who work for NCSS or any government organization as dignified human beings; these top few who turn beauty into filth].

manila: first impressions

2008-06-05T23:03:00.000-07:00

Like SAF-style, my overseas trips seem to have settled into some kind of formulaic pattern: in-processing, training, exercise, out processing. No exception now, other than a very grumpy first day.

This time, thought I would go budget and try Tiger Airways, so I got to experience the Budget Terminal as well. I didn't like the place, even if they had 3 for $10 watches, which is really a very touristy price; I suspect it's $10 for at least 5 elsewhere. It feels very artificial and contrite, like a person trying to be nice by following a checklist of niceness - smile, tone of voice, eye contact, body posture- etc. and the result is niceness alright, but the person seems to have gone elsewhere.

Flying Tiger Airways was also one of my biggest mistake. My past 2 trips were on SIA,and I felt I was becoming abit too pampered for my taste, so for $200 savings from SIA and $100 savings by Jetstar, I choose the Tiger. Big bad mistake. I didn't mind that their seats were like made of wood but because I was sitting next to the exit, the stewardness refused to let me have my handbag by my side and insisted it be stashed in the compartment. I need my handbag for peace of mind; incase the plane goes down I have it with me. I think I was so pissed I forgot to off my phone as it was taking off.

And even though I got the lowest price from Tiger, the end result was not cost effective. I will even go so far to say that I was deceived into flying Tiger. The plane dropped us off at Clark Airport, which on one hand I don't think counts as being in Manila because it is a 2 hours bus ride away; including the waiting time and what not, we touched down at 1 pm, cleared customs by 130 pm and reached Manila at 5.

And taking a taxi to the hotel, the driver decided to do abit of deception of his own. At the end of the journey, he demanded 1200 pesos, which is like $36SGD. We argued, and the good thing was the locals was on our side.

Traffic in Manila is really scary though. There doesn't seem to be any sound sets of signals for anyone to stop. People and cars just go; crossing the road is like a dance, driving/walking and taking turns to stop except at a very frantic pace. In Manila, I think boasting of a 100% safely crossing road record is an achievement. Followed locals mostly, but when they're not present, knowing how bad my timing is, I just dash across the road.

The nice bits: Manila is a really nice city. It's not as clean as Singapore is but it's definitely alot more real, so real that currently I have no pictures because nothing really stands out.

The people are really really friendly. The people on the bus, all locals, approached us when they realized I was local, with the map and all and 2 of them even left their contact number in case. Walking along streets and shopping centres, I don't feel the tendency for onrushing crowd behind breathing down your neck.

There are guards everywhere. Armed guards. In every store, every corner, every underpass. They do everything. They handle queries, they are walking directories, they open doors, they are the store's frontline PR, they count how many customers come into the store, they help settle disputes. Let's just say if our guys were half as talented as these people, a certain someone wouldn't have escaped.

The cost of living really is really really cheap! Just a comparison, for 100 pesos [about $3SGD, you get a Big Mac meal]. For dinner, I had a set meal for 86 pesos [$2.50SGD] which consisted of a big pile of rice, a big pile of vegetables, a mutant sotong stuffed with more vegetables and a pile of pork. For 8 pesos [almost nothing in SGD], I hopped onto one of those jeepneys that took me around the country. For 3 more pesos you can take the MRT. And there's krispy kreme! I bought a dozen yesterday, to last us the whole trip, and because Krispy Kreme seemed to be a little far from the hotel, and it's really cheap. One dozen costs like 250 pesos, which is about 20 pesos each. There's like less than a dollar SGD per dollar. Good thing Tiger didn't kill me because I think I just died and went to Heaven.

Ending on a sad note though: well those expecting Krispy Kreme can kinda forget about it because I don't think the donuts would last the 3 hour bus ride plus 4 hour plane ride. If it did, I don't think the horrible people at Tiger will let it onto the plane.

Thank you Tiger.

horrible govt stuff

2008-06-04T10:06:00.000-07:00

On the train earlier today, a troupe of kids trooped into the MRT and duly occupied the whole portion of empty walkway between any 2 doors on the train. They then proceeded to do what kids do best: make lots of noise, laugh loudly, and generally attract gawking stares from everyone around which they so effortlessly ignore.

A few minutes later, these 2 police ger ger come by and stopped about 3 poles away from the kids and they stayed in the area the whole time the kids were there. I'm not sure what they were doing, but they looked very awkward and sheepish about it; they occasionally glanced kids-side.

At this point the Mas Selamat bad joke machine starts working: seriously if our guards were watching the kids half as hard as they did Mas, he wouldn't have escaped.

Seriously also, I'm not sure what kind of security risk a whole bunch of kids can pose: possibly they might be explosive considering how energetic they all, but that's about all.

-

A sms conversation with a friend reminded me of something that happened about last year.

Apparently South West CDC and Akira teamed up to introduce this program where Akira provided households identified by SWCDC with a plethora of household appliances that were low in resource consumption. This Akira team-up was part of SWCDC's holistic client approach; it was just one of many programs that SWCDC tied up with, eg. house keeping from us, financial help from them and so forth.

So there was a launch planned at the open area infront of Blk 45 Henderson Road. They erected a tentage, set up a stage, and invited elderly residents from around the area, as well as elderly inmates from various homes. I'm not sure how long everyone started waiting, but I know most of the elderly folks were already there at around 1 pm, sitting under the tentage in the sweltering sun waiting for the launch to happen.

I reached at around 1:45 being the petulant anti-establishment person that I am, and I and my manager, together with all sorts of other grassroots people, other SWCDC people, Akira people, and various other people went to the multi-storey carpark to await the Guest of Honor, the SW mayor, Amy Khor.

She arrived at about 2 pm and I remember how she looked that day. She looked pristine, resplendent even, with that immaculate make-up and wearing that purple-onyx-ish flowy dress. She stopped her car infront of us, her too big car that is obviously not designed for HDB carparks, made a bad joke about how she will take forever to park if she had to do it herself, had a grassroots fella do the parking for her, and we proceeded.

She bypassed the tentage and went straight for Blk 45, where certain units had been earmarked for her to visit, to illustrate the holistic approach SWCDC takes towards clients. I remember there was this fat SWCDC fella, some kind of sycophant, who was some sort of harbinger, informing the people ahead of Amy Khor's impending arrival, and their respective duties.

3 or so flats were selected in that block. At the first flat, before Amy Khor arrived, our housekeepers were instructed to pretend to be doing some housekeeping. After Amy Khor arrived for awhile, they were redeployed to the next unit to await her visit. The ironic thing is, 2 out of the 3 units earmarked were not even our clients.

The event was also for Akira, so at each unit, the members of the household demonstrated to Amy Khor how they were putting the appliances to good use, while she expressed interest. I liked the part where she begun stirring this curry in the Akira electric cooker.

At 3 pm, she was finally done home-visiting. The sun did not let up all this while, and all the elderly folks were still waiting under the tentage. I remembered what was particularly ironic: they were playing the Hokkien songs from 881, and the one about dying and SGH kept repeating alot.

Amy Khor came, and gave the usual speech. It was a mostly good PR speech, made the Akira people happy and so forth other than the small fact that the audience, the elderly residents, probably did not understand half a word that was said. She did attempt the same speech in Chinese though. Let's just say she makes me look good.

At the end of it all, after waiting more than 2 hours in the sun listening to morbid songs, all the elderly residents got was a meal. What irks more is to many of them, this was a chance to get out of the Home; to the CDC and Amy Khor, they were used to fill up the seats and make themselves look good.

SAW

2008-06-02T20:09:00.001-07:00

When you find someone, be sure he complements you.

Meet Alfie: fearless Cockroach Crusader.

In case anyone is wondering: the crude-looking contraption the cockroach is stuck in is not a temporary solution until dad comes back because noone dares to go one on one with the roach; it's a sophisticated device where the weight of the brick is slowly pressing down on the plastic container as it slowly flattens it, allowing the cockroach the chance to slowly experience his life steadily diminishing away as he resigns, reflects and repents on all the foul deeds he and his kind have committed. And, if for some strange reason our friend roach manages to escape, well, i'm not sure he'd prefer that; the last cockroach Alfie played with didn't die, he just didn't have any legs to live with.

Yeah. It sucks to piss me off.

i'm an mrt cheat!

2008-05-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

I go home from Cityhall alot, usually after gym. To get myself a seat, I usually take the train 2 stations back to Marina Bay to get back to Woodlands.

According to a A.Raviprakash, I am a MRT cheat. Choice excerpt: "These are the ones who board the train at the station before the last one on the route. They do not alight at the last station, but remain in the trains and continue their journey when the train starts again."

Oh dear. I hope the Judge, when she's done with CSJ and sister, will have enough reason and logic to show leniency to me.

I just don't have what it takes to get a seat. After gymming, I'm just so tired I just wanna crash in the train for the too long journey back home because I probably have at least 3-5 hours of studying. I'm not cut out to get a seat. I lack the single-mindedness to focus on an empty seat as the train is pulling up. I lack the grit to jostle through the outgoing crowd. I lack the skill to push the competition aside. I mean, you ask me to get straight As, no problem. The problem is they don't teach how to get seats in books. Except maybe in the Muay Thai book.

Anyway, getting a seat is really not as hyped out as it is.

People are getting fatter and fatter, it's really quite hard to get your own seat all to yourself. I mean, I can deal with people who open their legs big big to air their crotch cuz I can leg press ALOT of weights. But fat people there's no pushing them back; they win just by existing.

Once, despite the train being really empty, I choose to seat beside this really slender female. She looked at me like I was a psychopath, and I replied with my 'it's for the best' look. It really was for the best, till she got off at Somerset.

There was another time I sat beside this seat which had a stain that looked suspiciously like blood. Singaporeans avoided the seat like poison and I was left alone for awhile. I was happy. Beware, however, of the one gross enough who dares to sit on blood-like stains.

another me

2008-05-25T02:17:00.000-07:00

There is a Me inside of me.

It is a very very angry Me.

This Me flings hot soup at unreasonable meepok aunties, threatens obnoxiously eager commuters pushing from behind with death, snarls at civil servants as the default mode of communication, sinks his butt firmly onto his seat when it's time to 'All rise and welcome the President' and blocks ministerial entourages and jeers at the object of the entourage [LHL]. This is the Me that gives people what they deserve.

I tell Me we must rise above, move on, move forward and be happy for the people who let us down, played us out, and still continuously rubbing it in our faces. Rising above.

This Me hates. He destroys. He taints.

I tell Me that there are bigger things to fight for, that there is a bigger picture: the poor, disenfranchised and the miserable, wretched as they are partly from continuing life mis-choices, but mostly the way they are from that big miasma called Life in Society.

This Me will gladly let the world burn; global warming, nuclear meltdowns and institutional poverty all seem trivial compared to personal affairs.

I fight Me sometimes. I tell him you are just what Dr Freud calls Id, the Thanatos, the unconscious result of unfortunate parenting.

I preoccupy Me, going to muay thai and willingly getting beaten, going to the gym every other day, running during the others, and practically doing something vigorous after and before sleep. No body should have to take that much punishment but mine does.

I pamper Me. With the unfailing security of the latest gadgets - the iPhone, the slr, the iPod and hiding behind the comfort of a laptop.

This Me sees through such deception and sees the ultimate fallibility of all things human and material. This is the Me that killed my mac, almost like tearing a human being and all the falsehoods such a small bundle of skin holds into shreds.

This is Me.

god help the outcast

2008-05-19T06:57:00.001-07:00

This song randomly came up on my iTunes and I started feeling things.

This song came from Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame. I remembered it's the last Disney cartoon feature song and dance which is kinda sad. It's interesting though: the irony is I never watched the movie when it came out then; in fact, I only watched the movie last year when I bought the DVD. I didn't really need to though; when the movie first came out, I bought the soundtrack. I listened to it so many times I could practically see the whole movie in my head.

As everyone who knows me knows, I think that religion is a tool of social control used by the few to control the many. I also think that under the name of religion, under the protection of most national constitutions, no other institution propagates more hatred and discrimination. In this fair country where I live, it seems that there is more possibility of a female PM than a female priest. Once upon a time, we hunted witches for sport; today we hunt homosexuals, albeit in a different way because gays have lots of money they can hide behind.

But for all my talk of science and empiricism, I really do believe there is a higher power. And on this fine Vesak Day, I pray that God help us outcasts.

tissue paper

2008-04-17T11:21:00.001-07:00

When I was younger — primary schoolish — I used to try to stimulate fevers on exam-eves: cold showers with clothes on and then sitting infront of the fan. I learnt in the army there's a much simpler method: ingesting toothpaste, though the timing and the amount seems to be a refined art that eludes me.

It used to be a fever used to be a fever. Today you get a fever and it could be any one of these things — SARS, bird flu, dengue, HFMD, shingles etc. It's so weird.

And I've been dreadfully quite sick the past few days; I was perfectly fine on Monday, and I woke up on Tuesday with a sorethroat, which progressively evolved into fever, weakness and body aches. I was gamely dolled up for the night too, for a sumptious meal at the Meritus Mandarain to mark Social Worker's Day [well that's what the SASW is only good for it seems] but alas, the illness took it's toil as the day wore on and I was forced to miss the dinner. On hindsight, it was probably a good thing. There is no telling what I would have done to that useless president. That night I had difficulty sleeping. My body ached and the night was spent not tossing and turning cuz i didn't have the energy for that, but in slight shifts of the body which brought much valued respite, if only for seconds. I discovered my mum's bed took more kindly to mine; the hardness must be the factor.

Day 2 was much better but I was still feeling weak so I stayed home. The fever resided, but the cough, sore throat and headache started stealing the limelight.

Day 3 today was the worst. I thought I felt better in the morning, but the lull was probably just an uneasy truce as fever, cough, headache, sorethroat and weakness discussed how to work together. In the afternoon, they did; coughing makes the headache worse, the fever came back and it made me weak so I can't control my coughs. touching my crown sends pain down my head and spine, and they brought along blisters.

Dengue would have killed me, plus my lymph nodes are still not swollen so that rules dengue out. HFMD is something only the young children get; i'm pretty sure the unsanitary years in PAP nursery education would have immuned me against it. It could be shingles. Or maybe some new-fangled bad-assed disease that spreads via the internet.

Interestingly, the symptons for the above conditions all involve loss of appetite; while I have lost my sense of smell and taste, I totally feel hungry all the time. In fact, as I type this, I am craving for the nasi lemak downstairs or the mee pok at North Plaze.

In whatever the case, whatever happens, it's been a good life and I won't miss much.

cheers

Seoul: Food

2008-04-14T09:30:00.000-07:00

Interrupt the usual dose of flaming with something nice: more belated pics of Seoul, this time of all the yummy yummy food we had there.

Our very first meal in Seoul.

Assorted grilled stuff. Got egg, got pork, got chicken, got beans. Very nice.

The food in Seoul is really nice; in fact, it is the second fave thing I look forward to everyday, after bed time in our nice cosy hotel. Sadly though, it is quite challenging to find food, or at least, local food.

On the first morning we woke up and started exploring the hotel vicinity. Just outside the hotel, we bypassed a whole street of food stores without eating anything cuz we weren't hungry yet. Big mistake. We got hungry awhile later and could not find a single food store after walking a few blocks. Thanks to some form of convoluted central planning, it seems the streets in Seoul are arranged thematically. We passed by whole streets selling handicrafts, jackets, plants but no luck with food. Eventually we reached the subway station and discovered we had walked 3 subway stops from our hotel.

We found a food store eventually and we encountered the next problem: language. We target stores that have english wordings on the outside [and thus an english menu], but these are few, especially for local local food. This store that we found had english words [yay!] but it seems they were only for show [boo!]. The shop auntie didn't understand a single bit of english. She did understand some Chinese though, so we managed to order some food in the end.

Yummy pork knuckle soup. The pork was really tender and juicy and it literally melts in your mouth. The soup base was flavourful and thick like gravy. This was easily the best dish I had for the whole journey. KM wasn't too impressed though; I think it's because he's a very conservative eater.

KM's cold noodle. He wasn't so lucky. Apparently auntie's chinese was even worse than mine; she understood noodle in chinese, but she ended up serving cold noodles. It's really quite nice but I think being up so early in the morning, walking an hour plus in the spiteful cold kinda makes appreciating cold noodles abit hard.

-

Language would continue to haunt us in our neverending quest for local food. There was this time we went into this local store out of desperation. We resorted to using Lonely Planet: pointing at the korean words in this food glossary section. It worked quite well: I got a nice stewed beef rice while KM finally got the hot noodles he craved for.

The irony is where English failed us, we can count of Chinese. Apparently alot of Korean food stores employ Chinese help, abit like how we employ Fillipinos, so on a couple of occasions, we could order through them.

-

We did capitulate once or twice. We had Burger King once. And Vietnamese food.

-

Another morning we had breakfast at this atas cafe. After we ordered the food at the counter, they gave us this coaster looking thing to bring back to the table.

KM hypothesized that it was just an elaborate token we use to collect our food from the counter when it is done. I felt that it would fly to the counter when our food was ready. Reality was a compromise: it started playing a monophonic tune and flashing lights.

KM had this weird alien-y green tea concoction. He lived to say it tasted weird.

-

I can't talk about Seoul food without talking about the donuts. The Seoul people love their donuts! Just beside our hotel was this three storey donut cafe: Doughnut Plant.

The donuts here are so-so lar. I think they appeal to a health-conscious crowd, using whole wheat bread for the donut so generally I think the place sucks.

Just a block away is a 3-storey Krispy Kreme and opposite that is Dunkin Donuts.

Basically hor, I think Dunkin Donuts and the Doughnut Plant live on the leftover crowd from Krispy Kreme. At any one time from 10 am to 10 pm, the queue at Krispy Kreme is super duper long; the only reason I am able to get my daily KK fix is because I live next to it. For some reason, after a certain time, they start giving out donuts. I haven't figured out the exact formula yet [it's not a simple buy one get one free concept], but on average I get at least one extra donut, and there was once I ended up buying 2 donuts and leaving the place with 5. Coolness.

-

Another bit of funny-ness. We were at this ginseng chicken restaurant. Seriously, you know you are allergic to alcohol, people put one small cup of clear yellow-ish liquid that is cold, you gulp it down in one second before anyone can react: you are asking for a very bad allergy reaction.

-

Last meal:

From Seoul: Food

Option T.

more general flaming

2008-04-14T02:56:00.000-07:00

Damn, flaming sure is addictive. This time, on this article DPM Jayakumar urges S'poreans to keep perspective on Mas Selamat's escape that appeared on CNA.

Here we go:

'...Deputy Prime Minister S Jayakumar called on them [them being the sg public] not to overlook the other good work done by the agencies.'

Yeah. Other good work. Like the Huang Na killer escaping. Or the fine responses our Sg police never fail to give our fave opposition politician.

'After the attack, the IRA claimed responsibility for the attacks and issued a warning saying they only had to be lucky once whereas security agencies had to be lucky all of the time.

Recalling that incident, Professor Jayakumar who is also Co-ordinating Minister for National Security said that is something security agencies have to always bear in mind.'

It must've been Mas Selamat's lucky day. Very lucky day.

'While Professor Jayakumar had no conclusions yet from the inquiries taking place, he commended the thousands of officers involved in the efforts to locate the fugitive.'

Like noone commends me when I home visit my clients in their dank and dark quarters, talk to them, befriend them and offer them slight slight solace. Oh right. Cuz that's my job.

'He added that he was heartened by Singaporeans' efforts in coming together for the search.'

This weekend I'm organizing a Search Party for Mas Selamat. $25/person. First drink free. Email for details.

'Laurie Garrett, Senior Fellow for Global Health, Council on Foreign Relations, said: "There is no government on earth that will have enough money, enough personnel, enough organisational capacity to take care of everybody. It will literally come down to "Do you know your neighbours? Do you know who's needy? Are you there to help them? Do you know how to take care of your family?” And then when the dust is settled, we will see what's left of government."'

Noone is expecting the government to take care of everybody [i personally know my clients aren't at least]. We just expect them to take care of that one person in their prison.

Maybe the ISD should consider outsourcing. I hear the KKK is looking for employment. At least they don't let their targets go.

general flaming for the week

2008-04-07T20:12:00.001-07:00

I don't generally comment on political/media stuff [yeah, right] because people generally only comment when things get really stupid [looking at you PAP] and I don't feel like posting 10 times a day. Besides my lecturer always says 'flame the argument, not the person' but you know how it is with me and fire; always out of hand.

Apparently, NUS magazine Ridge covers some silly political forum in their online portal about 2 months ago. At this point, we should all have already moved on and focus on bigger issues like blaming ourselves for Mas Selamat's escape and if there's leftover time, maybe fighting global warming. Apparently dengue this year is gonna be meaner so we should also be doing something about it since LKY says we shouldn't trust the government to get things done.

But no. Cuz 2 months later, SDP accuses the Ridge of censorship because apparently one of the Ridge's reporter had requested an interview with Chee Soon Juan, but the transcript of that interview was not published at all so that must be censorship because everyone else does it in Singapore. So maybe now we could all get a good laugh and move on since actually the interview was just to get a better understanding of the silly political forum which was what the article was about.

The Ridge replies recently and says so too. Mostly it was a good reply other than the very lack of expletives and vulgarities.

Of course the SDP must have the last say [as of now] and the plot thickens: the Ridge reporter who had asked for the interview promised it would be published, only for his editor to not want to use it. I particularly liked the reporter's email apology that the SDP produced saying that he was sorry to '...Mr Chee for having spent some of his personal time for an unpublished interview'. I'm sure Mr Chee has lots of personal time actually, when he is not behind bars.

Ok. Editors are always gonna have a final say in what appears and what doesn't, and when something doesn't appear, it doesn't necessarily mean censorship. I can think of so many reasons for an editor not to want to use an article, in this case, Chee's interview: the reporter did extra work, no more space le, not newsworthy, not auspicious etc etc. In this case, I think it was a matter of taste [has anyone read the interview? i can't believe the dude is a phd].

And like. Chee is so last century opposition? Now everyone is talking about JBJ lor.

-

And here's the bit my flames get really out of hand: this really is like a playground squabble: the bigger kid from the broken home with all his issues picking on the tiny tot happily minding his own business in the sand pit. Like all broken kids, they do their best work only in the playground.

chatterbox

2008-04-05T09:07:00.001-07:00

Alot of things to say but tomorrow must wake up early early to kick some butt [or get kicked] so I will just talk about the funnest thing today: Chatterbox at Meritus Mandarin! Thanks to my wonderful colleague.

They shifted le. To their ex-revolving restaurant on the 38th floor. Here we can still see the mechanisms in place. The new location has alot more ambience than the old one; it's no longer literally a chatterbox because the seats are more spaced out. Only slight bad thing: the floor creaks.

We had lobster laksa which is alot nicer than it looks on the already very nice picture except the serving is quite small even for a small eater like me.

I totally cleaned the bowl.

The view is also uber [pity the restaurant doesn't revolve anymore]. Who needs the silly Singapore Flyer to get a good view when you can just come to the Chatterbox? I think it costs $38 for a 30 minutes ride, $62 to add in a cocktail [i imagine you get one teensy cocktail to last you the whole experience]. For the reasonable cost of Chatterbox meal, you get the same view while eating yummy good. Good things in life don't have to be priceless.

Note this other pic. The green patch of greenery which the black patch of clouds seems to have taken a liking to is the Istana. Something wicked this way comes.

Misc musings: HSBC and UOB cardholders get discount. High tea on Saturdays and Sundays at $29.90++.

seoul: seodaemun prison

2008-03-29T06:51:00.000-07:00

Abit overdue but here's some of the pics I took in Seoul. I start with the 3rd day lar cuz the first 2 days were mostly spent in-processing [very very long stories].

Here's me in my nice plushy new set of winter wear. Despite having been to the States during winter and considering myself a seasoned traveller, I think I must have been undone by my too low body fat composition; longjohn + tshirt + sweater + jacket + scarf failed to repel the Seoul cold and threatened to undermine my holiday. Never skim on the winter clothings folks. So I bought:
$80: fleece
$300: 2 in 1 jacket with fleece and a windbreaker
$30: nice gloves
Which really worked wonders. [digression: i used the super uber 2-in-1 jacket in singapore and i now face meetings in air-conditioned government offices and classrooms with confidence.]

We went to the Seodaemun prison after my winter shopping spree.

This is the hospital opposite the prison the moment we got out of the train station. SGH. Seoul General Hospital. Seriously speaking the other day I went to our SGH to visit a client. it's like you have to get past the chasm of never ending cars, and walk miles along the road to get to where you want to go. Bad hospital.

Park before the prison.

History lesson: Seodaemun Prison was built by the Japanese last time. So the Japanese and the Chinese were fighting over Korea which resulted in the Sino-Jap war of 1895 which the Japanese won. Apparently unlike the Chinese they were not just satisfied with regular tribute; they made many Koreans unhappy who started rebelling and so the Japanese had to built prisons like these all over the country to house these rebels which they caught. I think there's about 300 such prisons all over the country, most not in use liao, a couple still functions as a prison, and a couple more turned into tourist attractions like these [not really touristy though since local visitors outnumbered foreigners like 100:1].

Anywayz. So the place consists of wax figures re-enacting the torture scenes.

One of the many prison buildings. They all look the same though so take one take all liao. The Japanese built them though and you will note the functional simplicity of the design. Very interestingly hor. Dunnoe how the Japanese design the buildings: inside is way colder than outside. I think that's the most efficient torture ever. 30 minutes and I will confess to whatever you want me to confess liao.

aces go places

2008-03-21T21:19:00.001-07:00

There's a letter in today's ST forum by an Ace Kindred Cheong scolding
this guy for locking up the national library from the inside. Besides
being wrong, he was wrong because what if the library caught fire?

Ace Kindred is a prolific forum writer. I first came across him when
he admonised Steven Spielberg for mixing politics in pulling out of
the Beijing Olympics video. I'm sure wherever corner of LA he is in,
Spielberg must have seen this letter and felt awful.

I googled 'Ace Kindred' and also this letter condemning a local
footballer dude for kicking his opponent, saying he should be in muay
thai instead. I think Ace misses a point: Local footballer was
unsporting and I can't think of any sport that condones that.

Before I left for Seoul I came across this letter scolding the guy who
burned the palace down. I didn't even have to read it to know who
wrote it. The next person who wants to burn the Merlion down better
think twice or else Ace will scold you.

With such a moral compass like Ace vigorously pointing the way, I can
sleep better at night. Even if Mas Selamat is still on the run. I know
I can trust Ace to scold him for toying with the feelings of his
captors and for willfully evading the efforts of Singapore's finests.

Ace is clearly against people who are unsporting, mixes politics with
everything, and who anyhow destroys things. That sounds alot like our
ministers. Go Ace go!

When I googled 'Ace Kindred' I was curious whether it was some sort of
honorific like Fuhrer or if it was some sort of rank in some
organization. I'm still not sure today.

saycheesecake

2008-03-11T09:27:00.000-07:00

Lovely dinner at

Laksa Chowder. Easily the best dish I had in a long time, and the best dish the place offers.

Royal Lobster Bisque. Finally, lobster bisque in Singapore that's better than the one I used to have almost daily at HK MacDonald's, which was really good.

The main course! Classic palle or something like that. Basically italian short grain [riso] with seafood and chicken. This was the dish that attracted our attention in the first place, and I think expectations were too high: it was quite a disappointment. The rice was too dry for riso, there were not enough peppers, and the tastes were not subtle enough.

Desert! Green Apple Crumple. Well the place is called cheesecake so you know the cheesecake has to be good. And it is.

2008-02-23T04:49:00.001-08:00

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Psychology/Sociology

You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Psychology, Sociology, or related majors (e.g., Counseling, Industrial-Organizational (I-O) Psychology, Social Work, or other social science majors).

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Psychology and Sociology are both great minors to add to any major. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.

Psychology/Sociology

100%

History/Anthropology/LiberalArts

100%

English/Journalism/Comm

100%

French/Spanish/OtherLanguage

100%

Biology/Chemistry/Geology

94%

Visual&PerformingArts

94%

Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health

81%

HR/BusinessManagement

81%

Mathematics/Statistics

81%

Religion/Theology

75%

Physics/Engineering/Computer

75%

PoliticalScience/Philosophy

75%

Education/Counseling

63%

Accounting/Finance/Marketing

63%

ard my workplace: classroom of the future

2008-02-18T07:55:00.000-08:00

ermmm so will there be lessons today?

once upon a time

2008-02-15T23:36:00.000-08:00

in the car wash

2008-02-10T09:25:00.000-08:00

on the 2nd day of cny. after our car kanna the 'battle of london' amount of bird droppings [huat ar!]. nowadays they don't have the automatic washing thing liao. replaced with 3-4 chinese workers.

feel like a shark.

cny stops the war

2008-02-07T22:11:00.000-08:00

Alfie and Meow Meow, in a rare moment of calm where Alfie is not seriously trying to actively puncture any of Meow Meow's arteries, or mounting poor Meow Meow from behind, or pouncing towards Meow Meow like Yokozuna. Only on CNY. Probably the only good CNY is for.

going for my exam

2008-02-04T20:37:00.001-08:00

and looking sharp :)

false prophet

2008-01-24T04:58:00.000-08:00

Just had my second hokkien lesson. I have nothing but respect for teacher's linguistic ability. Empirically speaking, it is super hard to acquire more than one language at a coordinate level, and acquiring more than one language at non bi-coordinate levels seriously screws up your mind and here we have a dude who knows English, Chinese, hokkien, Cantonese, Japanese, and Malay and he actually appears intelligent. Amazing.

Midway through the lesson he started giving out postcards proudly in large obtuse type flaunting these gems:

- the way to be happy is to make others happy.

- happiness is a by-product of an effort to make someone else happy.

- one of the deepest secrets of life is that all that is really worth doing is what we do for others.

What utter bullshit.

I think it is supremely irresponsible of him to be going around propagating such truely false falaehoods.

All my life I do nothing but give. If everything I've given could be converted into some common currency, it would probably be enuff to take over citibank more than one time. I've given time, given money, given effort, given love and gotten absolutely nothing back in return, let alone happiness.

Fast forward today and I am seriously out of things to give or even the will to give, or at least the will to struggle to keep what little deficit I have left. So I just wasted a year or so, much of it involving ridiculous trips to redundant lands, and this new year looks to be no different. While people cheerfully and nonchalantly move on I'm left with a lingering phantom pain, that type of indignant pain where you feel you have to rip out an appendage or two, and ownership of said appendages is not an issue.

But maybe hokkien teacher could be right. That must mean the people that I know must be dementers, those things in harry potter that suck you of happiness.

The thing about dementers: they don't let you let go.

means testing

2008-01-17T08:03:00.000-08:00

Sniffy the Virtual rat is a rat where cohorts of hordes of insincere psych undergrads administer electric shocks or feed food to Sniffy in order to get him to behave in a certain way. No rat deserves such a fate.

People get so many flavors/treats/services/gifts/education from me, favors/treats/services/gifts/education they so don't deserve. No one deserves such a fate.

I should do means-testing on all the stuff I give out. No-one who was mean and callous to me should deserve anything other than a well-aimed, well-timed and well-executed roundhouse kick.

Means testing is really cool because is prevents people who don't deserve anything from getting what they don't deserve.

Alot of my job is means testing, which basically involves finding out how many children my client has, and getting their total income then divide by something which I shouldn't go into too many details about. So clients who have children basically don't deserve any subsidies. Fair enough I think.

I'm not very good at means testing though.

I find it hard when in a stuffy, dark and dank one-room flat where the electrical appliances are as liveless as the occupant, in front of an elderly person, ravaged by age and society, whose todays were just like yesterdays, and the tomorrows are no better, to even consider that this person might not deserve what meagre solace I can provide.

The only way I can find out how many children uncle or auntie has is to -gasp!- ask them.

Sometimes uncle gets so excited because I am the first bit of civilization he comes into contact with in such a long time, and such a fine bit at that, that they forget how many children they have exactly. I'm a social worker, not a FBI lie-detector.

Or I could be fixing the washing machine and as we all know water pipes have a mind of their own and this mind includes deciding to burst and gush out unexpectedly usually when me and my notebook is in the way, and we all know how paper takes to water: so well that the ink smudges and the $200,000/year income uncle's son earns becomes $20.

Generally, half of all my clients speak Hokkien only. The other half are just lying that when they say they know other languages. My Hokkien is totally non-existent. I have this skill where I can tell how many children uncle has by looking at his eyes. It's way cool.

So yeah. I'm not very competent. Good thing in this country, incompetence earns you millions.

-

And so as the earth moves mindlessly on, Sniffies will continue to be shocked and stuffed in ignorant pursuit of redundant knowledge and I will continue to give stuff out to those who don't deserve anything more than anything.

How wonderful life is.

the woman in the street

2007-12-14T08:43:00.000-08:00

Decomposition by Tulfikar Ghose

I have a picture I took in Bombay
of a beggar asleep on the pavement;
grey-haired, wearing shorts and a dirty shirt,
his shadow thrown aside like a blanket.

His arms and legs could be cracks in the stone,
routes for the ants' journeys, the flies' descents.
Brain-washed by the sun into exhaustion,
he lies veined into stone, a fossil man.

Behind him there is a crowd passingly
bemused by a pavement trickster and quite
indifferent to this very common sight
of an old man asleep on the pavement.

I thought it then a good composition
and glibly called it 'The Man in the Street',
remarking how typical it was of
India that the man in the street lived there.

His head in the posture of one weeping
into a pillow chides me now for my
presumption at attempting to compose
art out of his hunger and solitude.

singaporeans say the darnest things

2007-12-04T20:48:00.000-08:00

If there is an award for figuring Life out, Singaporeans so deserve it.

-

So I was buying some shoes yesterday when this auntie came up to the nice salesperson and asked for US Size 3 shoes for her son because he was 3 years old.

Please lor. Americans are bigger than Asians; how can US size 3 be for 3 years old?

-

Amongst all the condolences for the 5 unfortunate dragonboaters, a friend came across this guy calling the dragonboaters typical Singaporeans: arrogant bastards who they we are Gods especially when we go overseas.

I am pissed. There is actually someone more offensive than I am.

According to Frederick from Singapore who writes in the condolences book for the millions the Khmer Rouge slaughtered, Cambodia is the abode of Satan, or at least his summer getaway.

I think so too.

How else are these children able to stay afloat in wash-basins in the river that killed 5 able-bodied swimmers in nothing more than a wash basin? This must be the work of the Devil.

Also, the Tonle Sap, the river the dragonboaters died in is the only river in the world that reverses its flow on a regularly basis. Paganic.

-

Moral: If you think you are God, don't go to the Devil's country.

I should get an award for this.

blerdy hell redux

2007-11-25T22:08:00.000-08:00

"We regret to inform you that we are unable to assist Mr XXX in our meal delivery service.

According to our records, Mr XXX's wife was our client, and the food that the household was previously receiving was stopped upon her unfortunate passing in the June of 2007. The social worker then had also assessed Mr XXX of being in good health.

Upon receipt of your letter, we have extended our service to Mr XXX. I made three attempts to locate Mr XXX at his residence in order to re-assess his condition: on the 21st Nov Wedenesday in the afternoon, and subsequently on the mornings of Thursday and Friday. They were in vain. In addition, during the visit on Wednesday at 3 pm, I found the lunch we delivered still hanging upon his door [the picture is included].

As such, we are unable to assess Mr XXX and ascertain his eligiblity for Home Help Services.

As stipulated by the Home Help service model by the National Council of Social Services, Home Help service is extended only to home-bound in-ambulant elderly having difficulties with the activities of daily living [ADL-dependency]. Many elderly request for Home Help services because it supplements their meagre income but we need to draw such lines because we have limited resources.

We ask for your understanding and look forward to further co-operation with yourself and the Tanjong Pagar GRC."

-

I hate myself.

blerdy hell

2007-11-25T20:57:00.000-08:00

I'm drafting a letter to turn down one of Indranne's referral for one of her resident. This is the version that won't ever make it to the final letter of course, but it needs to see the light of day:

"To Indranee Thurai Rajah, MP for Tanjong Pagar GRC, or whoever wrote the letter for you:

We regret to inform you that we are unable to assist Mr XXX in our meal delivery service.

Mr XXX's wife was our client, so the food delivery was stopped upon her unfortunate passing in the June of 2007.

We have extended our service to Mr XXX upon receipt of your letter out of goodwill. I made three attempts to locate Mr XXX at his residence: on Wednesday 21st Nov afternoon and Thursday and Friday morning. In addition, on one visit, the Wednesday one at 3 pm, the lunch we delivered to Mr XXX was hanging upon his door [a picture is included in Appendix 2].

As we are unable to assess Mr XXX and ascertain his eligibility for our service, we are unable to assist him.

As stipulated by the Home Help service model by the National Council of Social Services [the relevant pages are attached in Appendix 1], eligible clientele for Home Help extends only to home-bound in-ambulant elderly with difficulties in the activities of daily living. This precludes elderly folks who require our services to cut costs."

-

But I am still pissed.

I realized it doesn't matter what I write. Blerdy Indranee probably doesn't care about the outcome of the referral because MPs can't ever say no to their residents. It doesn't matter whether Mr XXX gets the service or not because blerdy Indranee still wins. She wins because she agreed to write the referral for Mr XXX so she looks good in his eyes. If we help the client, blerdy Indranee gets the credit in his eyes because she wrote the referral for him. Now I am turning him down. And the client will say: It's not blerdy Indranee who's turning him down.

Blerdy hell.

There is something disturbingly wrong with this country.

the sg police: the vigilant force

2007-11-22T01:40:00.000-08:00

Videos of Chee Siok Chin and John Tan trying to walk towards Shangri-La recently. Basically the video goes something like this:

- CSC and JT wants to walk to Shangri-La.

- The police 'advises them to leave' because it is a protected area or they will be removed.

- CSC asks for a reason. She is just going to Shangri-La for a meal.

- Police says because the area is protected.

- CSC asks why is no-one else stopped.

- The police 'advises them to leave' because it is a protected area or they will be removed.

- CSC asks for a reason. She is just going to Shangri-La for a meal.

Seriously all CSC wants is a reason. Give her lor. Tell her that with all the lawsuits the PAP have and will slap on her, she's bankrupt liao or will be bankrupt liao so she obviously can't and shouldn't be eating at Shangri-La. Every cent counts.

Part 1

Part 2

Other interesting things:

• John Tan is my stats lecturer. He taught me all I knew about statistics and I would not be half the empiricist I was without him. He taught me that He taught me to see through all the lies that evil people in the country tell by abusing stats.

• 'You are advised to leave the area or you will be removed'. Apparently, 'advised' means different things to the police from Uncle Oxford. 'Removed' has a nice sound to it though: nicely threatening and sounds like a vaporizer will be involved.

• 'You are advised to leave the area or you will be removed'. Somehow it sounds better with an American accent. Or at least an accent which doesn't sound like you're really married to Chinese and English is the distant relative in the family you don't want to acknowledge because he's done some shameful things. The same applies to raising your voice.

• Police can't touch you if you haven't done anything wrong. But they do anyways.

• The higher you go, the smaller your balls. Must be the increased air pressure.

• CSC's HQ is in Sengkang. The food there is definitely alot cheaper than Shangri-La's. My HQ is in Woodlands. The food sucks here.

in defense of the selfish singaporean

2007-11-14T08:47:00.000-08:00

Last week-ish, there was a letter in the ST forum. The writer's grandmother kanna attacked by their schizophrenic neighbour at a very public bus stop and noone helped at all. There were so many sensible things the writer could have lamented about. Probably her grandmother did or had something that triggered off something in their neighbour so she could have talked about the greater need for sensitivity towards mentally sick people. Maybe said neighbour didn't take his medication before leaving home; she could have talked about the challenges of caring for the mentally inept and caregiver's burdens. Or perhaps the neighbour's relapse was caused by the hot weather; she could highlight the challenges faced in combating global warming. Yet, the writer choose to accuse all the people at the bus stop, and by association, all Singaporeans, as apathetic.

In today's ST forum, a Adam Chen Zijian writes:

"I REFER to the letter, 'No one helped when old woman was attacked' (ST, Nov 5) by Ms June Koh Poh Kwan.
It is indeed sad and unfortunate to hear that not a single person bothered to help Mdm Tan when her attacker, a young man suffering from schizophrenia, verbally and physically attacked her.

It is common knowledge that the majority of Singaporeans would just stare and keep a distance whenever such situations arise.

Like all Singaporeans, we do not want trouble and, thus, our selfish nature.

This bad habit of ours is definitely one of the traits that make up the 'Ugly Singaporean'.

True, Singapore always gets praised in the international media for being clean and green, for being a safe country, for having the best airport but, when it comes to basic moral values and ethics, Singaporeans really fare badly.

We really should learn from the rest of the world, such as our American and Australian counterparts because chances are if the same scenario happened in either America or Australia, members of the public would get involved and promptly seize the attacker, before handing him over to the police.

Compare that to what happened to Mdm Tan, and you will know that Singaporeans are lagging very far behind and have a lot of catching up to do.

So, being clean and green, having the best airport, honestly, they all count for nothing if we continue to be so selfish and self-centred.

It is only when we learn to be more selfless and self-sacrificing that we can truly consider ourselves to be gracious citizens."

Generally, the stupidity in the ST forum is quite high, but Adam Chen Zijian brings it to PAP politician levels. Personally I like people who are called Adam, and this one shares my surname as well as having a nice Chinese name. Apparently such triply ideal naming goodness can only result in stupidity.

In his letter, Adam's only claim that Singaporeans are selfish is backed only by the previous letter and the 'common knowledge that the majority of Singaporeans would just stare..'. Where is the freakin falsifiability?

-

In America, the country which Adam lauds for her unselfish people, a Kitty Genovese was stabbed to death infront of 30 over people over a half hour period, where the attacker left and came back to continue stabbing her. No one lifted a finger. In another case, a woman was unaware she had been stabbed in the back and continued doing her normal marketing. She only realized she had been stabbed after she got home and her daughter pointed out there was a knife protruding from behind her.

As has been researched to death (Berkowitz, Latane & Darley, Bryan & Walbek, Bryan & Test, Grusec, Bastardi & Shafir etc), having other people around makes people alot less likely to help. People generally don't help around strangers cuz they don't wanna pai-seh.They don't generally help aroound strangers cuz they are afraid that the event might not be an emergency, and since noone else is helping, then it probably isn't an emergency. In other words, as clear as being stabbed to the victim might seem, the event is not so clear-cut to us by-standers.

When I was in HK, we came across a crowd.

Odie wastes no time in mingling within the crowd, and chatting up the early birds to find out what is going on. She tells me that this behaviour is not an Odie-thing, and based on observation with this crowd, I concur with her. It seems in HK, it is the culture for by-standers in a crowd to actually communicate with each which generally eliminates the ambiguity of the situation, or eliminates the possibility one will look like a fool for helping because everyone else is also doing so.

-

I think the most famous account of America's lack of unselfishness is how Americans, common and professionals alike, risk their lives during the September 11 attacks. I also think that there is nothing ambiguous about buildings collapsing and in flames, or planes being hijacked for suicide runs.

So it's really abit too far, and most unscientific and therefore really stupid, to call Singaporeans selfish and apathetic. Singaporeans are not selfish or apathetic. I think they just have a very generous leeway for what constitutes an emergency, a leeway which is not helped by the general tendency of Singaporeans to keep to themselves I suppose.

A man and woman fighting, never mind how much blood is flowing, is construed as a domestic struggle and therefore private business, albeit in a very public place.

A kid writhing about on the ground, and foaming at the mouth, is simply the playfulness of youth.

An adult savagely abusing a child is nothing more than discipline. Afterall, growing up, who hasn't been caned?

A knife sticking out of someone's back. A bad radio commercial?

As silly as it sounds, but the research shows it. If you want help, just ask for it. CLEARLY. In 4 different languages and 2 different dialects to be sure.

HK Oct 2007: Food

2007-11-13T07:32:00.000-08:00

So I made a quicktime slideshow of the yummy food I had in HK. Just click the yellow arrows to navigate [may have to take awhile for the file to load first though].

I can honestly say that food was one of the few things I was looking forward to in HK. We commonly went to Nganlung, situated just below our guesthouse. I went there almost every chance I got.

Having been to quite a bit of countries, I still think that food in Singapore, or at least the food I can generally afford is, is nothing more than supposedly edible foodstuffs ruined in oil. Gross.

HK Oct 2007 Day 2: Tai-O

2007-11-08T03:43:00.000-08:00

Tai-O is a sea-side village on Lantau island. On retrospect, in the cool dryness of my room, and not the pouring coldness I was experiencing then, Tai-O is actually a pretty nice, rustic place, a nice escape from the maddening crowd that characterizes HK and SG [in retro-retrospect, the lack of crowds at Tai-O could possibly be due to the rain].

茶果. A local delicacy. Available in sweet and salty versions.

Social worker going around giving out goodie bags.

HK Oct 2007 Day 6: journey to Nam Sang Wai

2007-11-05T07:15:00.000-08:00

Turns out to get to Nam Sang Wai, you walk along Nam Sang Wai road, which is along the Kam Tin and Shan Pui river. The walk there, all 4 km of it, is very easy to describe.

The way ahead and back is road:

There are electric wires once in a while.

Right is the Kam Tin River, with flocks of cranes and ducks.

Left is the fenced up mongrove-y area, Nam Sang Wai proper.

Towards the end is a big empty field where people play with model helicopters:

or with their dogs [Keith and Toby, Keith is the one in the picture]:

When it gets bored, I disregard signs like that:

And go to the edge of the river.

HK Oct 2007 Day 6: entrance to Nam Sang Wai

2007-11-05T06:29:00.000-08:00

So I managed to shake off my traveling companions for the day. Rather than spend the day moping and sulking in the room over the internet, I decided to visit Nam Sang Wai, where I can mope and sulk by the swamp and jump in when I've had enough of moping and sulking. I heard it is infested with crocodiles. Sweet deliverance.

Got off the bus at Ang Mo Kio [really!] and this big big sign so deceptively greets you..

From HK October 20...

suggesting that my destination is just around the corner.

Of course, I have read the guidebook and I know better.

I need to walk past all this highways before my journey can really begin: 4 km of road all the way in along the Kam Tin River.

HK Oct 2007 Day 6: HK Wetlands Park redux

2007-11-05T06:09:00.000-08:00

More pics from the Wetlands Park.

HK Oct 2007 Day 6: HK Wetlands Park

2007-11-05T03:55:00.000-08:00

I had the day all to myself after I ditched my travel companions to Shenzhen. I took the chance to go back to the Wetlands Park, where I had previously attempted to go the day before but it was closed.

From HK October 20...

The park itself is basically a free-for-all viewing area built around a nature reserve, which is what you see no touch because pretty to look at, once broken it's a real shame but there's no need to pay. The nature reserve consists of a mangrove ecosystem.

There is the usual visitors' centre, with it's fair share of real and fakeko exhibits including a mudskipper up close!

And some species of swamp crab, where the male is differentiated by a larger right pincer.

The crabs in their somewhat more natural habitat.

There were huts built on the edges of the park to allow people to get closer to the wildlife in a more comfortable position. Oh gosh. I felt so out of my league. Look at all the lenses. HK must have one of the highest rates of dSLRs in the world.

But of course, I will not be outdone so easily.

Picture taken from the telescope provided in the visitors' centre.

I remember talking to a friend long ago about zoos and nature reserves. I used to feel that concepts such as zoos and nature reserves are pretty hypocritical. Firstly, it's implying therefore that the right to defile the land is totally ours and defiling the land is okay because we have nature reserves set aside. Secondly, it's kinda half-fucked to want to preserve something you purport to love, and still allow people to go in even if there is some sort of barrier.

If you really love something, sometimes the best is just to leave it alone. Well, obviously, I don't love it that much.

HK Oct 2007 Day 4: Mei Foo

2007-11-04T07:38:00.000-08:00

Some random park at Mei-Foo.

From HK October 20...

HK Oct 2007: Saw IV

2007-11-04T02:14:00.000-08:00

To capitalize on the cheaper rate if you watch shows before 11 am, my travel mate decided we should watch Saw IV, to which I obligingly agreed even though I get really freaked out during horror shows.

The theatre was really small. There is only about 10 rows, and the room was flat and non-sloping, which meant that you get full view of the head of the guy infront of you. For once, I was actually glad for that.

I think I get freaked out during horror shows because I can almost imagine myself being in the poor victims' shoes.

After a while, I think the movie kinda grow on me. Basically, the movie is about some dude who goes around setting up contraptions for bad people to put themselves into where they have to choose between death or cutting off an appendage, either of which they truly deserve. I think the show, and its prior prequels, is about karma or more specifically that karma doesn't exist though people think it does, and the only karma is the kind you put into your own hands.

Karma doesn't exist. It's really just a myth.

I'm indignant. You can live your life the best way you should, but as always, it's the scummy garbage that gets what you deserve, and they're probably laughing at you about it.

So yeah. I was not afraid during the show because I know I will never find myself in the trap to be judged. I will be the judge.

HK Oct 2007: academic life

2007-11-03T08:48:00.000-07:00

My unfortunate affiliation with HK also extends to its universities.

HKU:

Been here way too many times, but still dragged my sorry behind down. I didn't realize how trouble it was to get here; the route was direct enough but traffic was so bad it took almost an hour to get there, the whole way I was feeling pissy because Odie says that co-ops tend to close at 4:30, her basis being the NUS one.

City U:

On the day we went, there was a convocation going on.

The very nice City-U canteen.

City-U pond.

From HK October 20...

The City-U window and my matching outfit.

HK Oct 2007: Chungking mansion

2007-11-03T08:07:00.000-07:00

The HK interns I had in July met up tonight at Chungking mansions for Indian food, because Indian food was the closest thing they had that reminded them of Singapore.

One of the features in HK is that a simple doorway opens up into a whole new world and Chungking mansions is no exception. Located right along Nathan Road, which is somewhat like our Orchard Road, only classier, the building looks just like a dirty building from the outside but once you get past the main doorway, you enter into a whole different world. There is a totally different eco-system consisting of people, ang-mohs and Indians.

HK is a truly multi-faceted place but I am totally freaked out by Chungking mansions. When I was interning at the CDC, one of my colleague is an Indian who spoke Chinese [alot better than I]. The first few weeks I was at the CDC, I took the long way to avoid him as much as possible [today we are super good friends]. If there is anything more freaky than Chinese-speaking Indians, it's Cantonese-speaking Indians, and half-fucked ones at that. It took me a while before I could figure out they were speaking Cantonese, and even then, each Indian required individual acclimatization.

So the Indians stick onto any unfortunate passer-by, professing in their horrendous Cantonese that their room or food is the cheapest and bestest around. And the ang mohs get stuck on by the Indians and attempt to outwit those Indians for the sake of a few dollars using their limited euro-centric wit. Symbiosis is such a wonderful thing.

I don't know why anybody would want to remember Singapore. It's just a shitty little hellhole with people who think it's more than just a shitty little hellhole.

In any case, there really is a nicer non-Chungking mansion-y way to remember Singapore and it's called Food Republic.

HK Oct 2007 Day 2: Big Buddha

2007-11-02T10:10:00.000-07:00

Having spent the afternoon at Tai-O, I cannot imagine a worser experience. Thankfully, the powers that be saved me that chore when we went to the Big Buddha on Ngong Ping.

HK is not a place I would have liked to visit ever again, it being filled with so much painful memories, especially in places I have been to before like the Big Buddha.

Want to take the cable car also cannot.

I have actually deleted every picture I have ever taken in HK, for the strangest reasons, the new ones I have taken look strikingly similar.

The good thing was unlike the previous time, there wasn't so much people crowding around the place. However, even though there were lesser people, the average intelligence around the place doesn't seem any higher.

From HK October 20...

Unfortunately, there's a reason why there wasn't so many people there: it was pouring rather heavily, as this half-covered pic of the Big Buddha shows. So yeah. How smart am I to be here.

Not very apparently.

HK Oct 2007 Day 2: Shaolin@Tai-O

2007-11-02T09:41:00.000-07:00

Shaolin Monastery at Tai-O.

Complete with directional signboard.

So evil members of the demonic sects can find their way easily to Shaolin.

Loud-speaker.

No need for the monks to practise 千里传音 anymore.

And there's nothing like some Haagen-Daaz ice cream to train constitution. Eat liao swords and spears also cannot go through your body.

From HK October 20...

So yeah. Shaolin at Tai-O. There's training courses for small friends, and separate classes for those above 18 too.

HK: the journey so far

2007-10-31T08:54:00.000-07:00

Currently I'm at this guesthouse somewhere in the middle of Mongkok, straddling Argyle Road and Western Vegetable Road South. It's not a bad place, location wise. Compared to Causeway Bay or Tsim Sha Tsui, it's not nearly half as populated but it's near to lots of good places, near in my vocab meaning no more than a 5 minute walk. Western Vegetable Road runs parallel to Nathan Road and is full of toy shops and shopping centre with toy shops and other fashion shops selling all sorts of cool linglinglonglong. Ladies market is somewhere perpendicular to the vegetable street so that's cool too. Coolest of all is Krispy Kreme is once again just a friendly 5 minutes from my door step.

The bad thing? Well there is internet connection in the room, but I suspect it's heavily fire-walled. Msn, bittorrent and mail clients don't work. I have to access msn from facebook, and it is in beta, not the google 'it's beta cuz beta is cool' but beta is the true sense of the word: it doesn't auto-refresh and I have to refresh if I wanna see if there is any new messages. For people who are responsive that's not too bad; it gets very irritating talking to people are are unresponsive fucks.

The first day in HK [i don't count arrival day] was super hectic. We ate alot of street food, shopped around Western Vegetable street, walked from Mongkok to Tsim Sha Tsui where we proceeded to Lan Kwai Fang for Halloween. Today the plan is to go to the Tiantan Buddha, before going for karaoke and then sit the ferry to Victoria Peak. Friday, the itinerary includes City University.

My travelling philosophy is this: travelling is not about cramping your itinerary with everywhere. Sometimes doing nothing is also travelling.

I am missing Singapore already.

leopard

2007-10-29T09:10:00.000-07:00

Oh gosh. I don't mind re-installing every 6 months just to watch this video.

i hate

2007-10-28T04:50:00.001-07:00

New Balance Real Run 2007.

15 km.

As the map shows, the run consists of 4 too long stretches of road. Straight road. Straight endless road. I can't do running on straight roads. It's look you put in so much effort and then you look up, the place still looks the same; it's like you're not moving at all. It's like you put in so much effort and you get nothing out of it. I have a phobia for that.

I freak out.

I run faster. Try to overtake more people. I get more tired. But the road still looks the same like nothing happened.

And then i sprained my ankle.

I can't do straight roads. It's too much like life.

japanese toilet training video

2007-10-22T19:20:00.001-07:00

Piaget is gonna have something to say about this.

vanna white and pat sajak discusses font choice

2007-10-15T17:48:00.001-07:00

surreal.

porn for the pain, hawthorn for the heartaches

2007-10-15T10:25:00.001-07:00

Today, we have so many many pills for so many many things. There's stuff for preventing HIV, for psychological conditions and as I have just learnt, we now have a forgetting pill.

I wished it worked on me, but unfortunately the pill specifically targets only traumatic experiences, like rape or war. You don't forget that you were raped of course, you simply forget what it feels like to be raped, which apparently makes affective issues more easier. Not like the 'pop a pill and forget the last X minutes of your life where X is the dosage in miligrams' usage that I quite imagined but cool nonetheless.

How does the forgetting pill work? Apparently to remember something, you need to strengthen it. When we experience something traumatic, adrenalin rushes through our body and strengthens the memory. So our dear pill works by blocking the production of adrenalin. [By this same token, if you have an exam, you could try hanging on a cliff and studying]

I can easily think of so many things we need pills for.

How about a pill for loneliness? Right, we have ecstasy. How about a pill for what happens after the ecstasy wears off? And another one for when that goes off too.

Or a pill that makes you just know things. You would pop it and then realize you shouldn't really be eating this pill in the first place.

Let's make a pill to cure gayness. Conversely, we can have a pill that induces it. Imagine, being gay on demand. Why? Because in certain situations, it's good to be gay. For the rest, we can just pop a pill.

Bryan would really like a pill that induces orgasms. No comment.

We could have a pill to makes people fall head over heels for you. Money seems to be losing its sheen these days.

And this is my personal request: a pill that gives you broadband internet connection upon consumption. Don't ask me how it's supposed to work. I need internet connection.

How about a pill that prevents one from hoping? Or a pill that cures stupidity? Actually they could be the same pill 'cuz only the stupid hope.

I think we could really use a pill to stop us from ever eating pills.

-

I think it's so cool to just pop a pill and have sadness, or loneliness or insecurity or uncertainty or whatever unbearable negative emotion just vanish. It would make life so much more livable. Vincent Van Gogh certainly wouldn't have ended his life and would have gifted the world with much more beauty.

But would Vincent have been brilliant without his pain? I would like to think not.

I like to think that pain makes us human because pain differentiates us from other animals, from other people. No one is going to care about our own pain but us. How we transcend our own pain makes us a better person, because we made ourselves.

-

Want a pill of happiness? Take arsenic.

sailor moon

2007-10-10T23:17:00.001-07:00

Some things should stay animated.

oversleeping

2007-10-03T01:51:00.001-07:00

by 'I'm from Barcelona'

Damn! Oversleeping again
Damn! I can't believe I did it once again

I can make it in time
if I jump out of bed
if I skip to wear clothes
and get running instead
if I get on my feet
if I skip to hit snooze
if I don't care to eat
and get running instead
I can make it in time

Been oversleeping on Monday
I don't care let's pretend that it's Sunday

-

This is so my official song.